worstweblogintheworld

I'm getting better

2011-11-26T06:42:00.000-08:00

its been 6 months since steve passed away. It feels like so much has happened.

when I left birmingham, about a year and a half ago, steve gave me a candle. and he told me that when I lit the candle I could remember him. and every wednesday night, I would light my candle in new york and send him a picture of it. and he would send me a picture of his candle, burning in alabama. steve loved symbols; he loved them unapologetically. and he would say that when you remember the people you love, they are not far away from you. they are with you. he wrote to me once that I was never far from his thoughts, and in this way I was always close.

life in new york is better than I ever imagined. I'm finding people and music that are more beautiful than I ever had hoped possible. I love being in the city - a place where I feel like I can be unapologetically me. I find myself being challenged as a musician, challenged with new ideas, and I find myself breathing deeply, for the first time in awhile. I'm getting better.

I'm getting better in all sorts of ways. I'm playing piano better. playing the piano seems like this elusive skill that I've been developing ever since I was a child, but its exciting to see certain skills develop that are purely and visibly a result of encountering so many different and new styles of music, and getting to be involved with so many different types of projects and records. I'm getting better at songwriting. Its fun to meet so many people who are interested in writing songs together. I'm getting better at recording music. I've been making records for over ten years, and I still feel like I'm figuring out how its done. I'm getting better at taking pictures. I'm seeing light more quickly, and I'm seeing expressions and people and knowing I've got shots faster than before. I'm getting better.

and I'm getting better in other ways, too. I'm not fighting so much. I'm letting things go, and learning (slowly) that so many things I thought were important, well, they just weren't. in alabama, I had so much I was fighting. and I still believe I was right to fight everything I was fighting. but it is so lovely to not have to fight anymore, at least for now. I'm taking some time, and I know I'm a fighter, and I think that's a good thing. I'm a lover, too.

and I'm learning to love better, and this is maybe the best thing. to be honest, I've always been a lover. but I've learned over the last few years especially what being a lover costs. it means being far away from people who give you the most life. it means being vulnerable and getting hurt. it means waiting through the silence. it means watching people go, pieces of you with them. and sure it means lots of good things, too. but I guess I keep being surprised at how the sorrow and the love really do, truly, go hand in hand. I carry a lot of sorrow, and I think that makes me better too.

steve died 6 months ago, and I haven't really felt it yet. I remember the last time I saw him, about a week before he died. it was in the hospital, and I was there with brooke and melanie and margaret, and steve was being funny. when I saw him I tried to hide my shock - he had lost all of his weight, and all of his hair. honestly, he looked terrible. he struggled mightily to breathe, and he had a cough that made the room shake. he saw me and his eyes were so bright. and he said "here I am! skeletor!" and for the next couple hours I sat on his bed and we talked and he was as funny as I'd ever seen him. I held back all of my sorrow while I was with him, and once his pain meds took over and he could no longer hold his eyes open, I hugged him and walked out. It was in the hall, around the corner from his room, that I knew steve was really dying. I've had other friends die, but not anyone like this. cancer is so terrible. and I knew it was the last time I was ever going to see him, and I leaned against the wall, and I couldn't breathe. I just wept. brooke waited with me.

where do you go from there? its hard to know. one foot in front of the other, you keep on.

a week later, I was on the road, driving back to birmingham for steve's funeral. it was a terrible, wonderful week. and now, 6 months later, I feel like steve's absence is starting to creep in. the relentlessness of loss, like the relentlessness of the coming seasons, it is unavoidable.

I have so much to be thankful for, and steve's death makes the beauty and love I share in all the sweeter. the laughter of my niece as she sits in my lap and tells me stories. the setting sun casting its golden light across manhattan's skyline. a candlelit apartment, and a bottle of wine with brooke as we talk and watch the city lights and wait for sleep. the peace and comfort offered by my always present, always loyal dog como. playing music in new york city with my newest friends, who give me more life than they ever could realize. riding motorcycles across the american south, sleeping in the forests. long talks with my mom or dad. or any of my brothers and sisters. the constant pursuit of music. the enchanting promise of love still to be found.

all this beauty. its getting better. the bitterness stings as much as it ever has. and yet, the sweetness has never been so sweet.

I miss you, steve.

Steve Malone

2011-06-06T20:45:00.000-07:00

Steve Malone, maybe the most influential person I've ever known, a personal mentor and close friend to me since I was a teenager, passed away two weeks ago. Its hard to know what to say, but I wanted to re-post the words I shared at the vigil at melanie's house, the night before his funeral.

Steve Malone

I met steve when I was really just a boy. and ever since, he watched with me and waited with me. I have more memories than makes sense to relate. many nights up late, often with few words between either of us. I've always had a bit of angst in me. general discomfort and anxiety with the way things are, and steve patiently made space where nobody else ever had. he taught me how to be generous. he taught me how to rest, and to be, in the here and now. he taught me what things really cost. he taught me how to love women. he taught me how to be quiet. he taught me how important children really are. he taught me how to find hope when it seemed like there might not be any. he taught me the power of kindness, and an honest apology. he taught me how to not be afraid to let things go to their end, to let things unravel. and he taught me what true friendship really looks like, and how rare of a thing it really is. and along the way he gave me so many gifts. he gave me music. steve gave me his own faith. steve gave me his word. steve gave me the pursuit of beauty. steve gave me his unwavering support. steve gave me so much of his time. all of this, and I don't remember steve ever asking anything in return.

I remember a night out by a fire. it was thanksgiving, I was freaking out. and steve was with his family, tucked away comfortably and warm out in the alabama woods. he called me and told me I should come. and so that night I sat outside with this beautiful family and found rest. steve would say "I just want to be gathered up in love". and in all those little things, making coffee, making breakfast, making sure everyone was warm and taken care of, steve created so much space for so much love. it seemed he made space for everyone he met.

steve had integrity. and even when it cost him dearly, he never lost heart. he always meant what he said. he always held out hope.

to steve's brothers: I've heard so many stories. steve always seemed to know where you were and what you were going through. you know this, but it is just worth saying. steve loved you in the way that only a brother can, and you were always with him.

to steve's parents: steve talked of you often. he was so thankful for you. steve was always counseling various people and it seems pretty much everyone has issues with their parents, but steve used to say to me, "you know brian, my parents are good people. I only have gratitude and love for them" he said it in this sort of unbelieving way. like to say that he had such good parents, it just didn't seem right, few people got to have good parents. the two of you helped him become the beautiful man he was, and he always honored and loved you. he was always thankful for the life and the space and the love that you offered him.

to steve's children: some day I will find the words to tell you how much he loved you. you know this is true even without me saying it, but truly I have never known a father who had that much love for his children. your care was always on his mind. each of you carved a special place in his heart that no one could ever touch. and each of you offered him life and joy, in your own unique, beautiful way. he smiled when he spoke of you. his heart ached when your heart ached. he had more love for you than I ever saw a father capable of.

to melanie: steve loved you and fought for you the most. no question. you made him happier than I ever saw him. and you cared for him better than any of us ever could have. you spoke his language, you explored his heart, you held his hand, you nurtured his mind and his soul, you kept him close. you were his great gift.

steve loved his family. we are all here because we lost a good man. and we're here because we all share in the loss. steve and I used to talk about sorrow. how sometimes sorrow comes at you like a wave. like a slow river tide. and you feel like you’re drowning, or rowing against it, but really its just carrying you along. and sometimes sorrow comes at you like a knife. and it cuts you somewhere deep, and leaves you with wounds that you're sure will never heal.

we all carry heavy burdens. but at least for a few moments, with a song, with a poem, with a quiet breeze. with a gentle touch. we don't have to carry the sorrow alone.

as steve used to say, as only he could: all manner of things shall be well.

love and sorrow, hand in hand. rest and peace, my final prayer.

may we all be gathered up in love.

steve and melanie's blog

leaving red mountain church

2010-03-01T07:36:00.000-08:00

(this is what I read last night - when I announced I was leaving)

it is hard to know where to start - since we began, this church has been my home - a surprising oasis for me and so many people I love - for so many years. I have so many memories. james chapin and his orange flag waving from his wheelchair. pickwick center and the special smells in the stairwells. that time I preached a sermon (now that's funny). parties in bars and in brother bryan park and in the pickerings and the williams homes. babies that have come and brought so much new life to our church. so many amazing musicians - truly the finest musicians in our city. so many times of loss and grief - I look around this room and I see people who have sat with me, wept with me and for me, people who have stayed with me. so many times of joy - so many nights of laughing, bellies full of wine, knowing and being known, coupled with an equal amount of nights of sorrow - sitting in the sad silence of grief and not knowing what will happen next. so many memories from this beautiful place.

I have so much I am thankful for. for me and brooke - red mountain has been our family, and our primary community. red mountain is full people we care about; truly, leaving has been a difficult decision - red mountain has been the biggest thing holding us in birmingham for so many years.

and it goes without saying that the music of our church is something that is particularly special and beautiful to me. I say this often, and I will say it again, that the music of our church is way bigger than our small gathering here in birmingham. and it is way bigger than the people who help make it. our music is a collective - a gathering of souls, who, together, bring light and voice to glorious ideas, hopes, ancient texts, and dreams that are way bigger than any of us. the music of this church is the sum of so many small, intricate, important parts. it has been an absolute honor to be apart of the songs that have come together here - to help create the music that has carried me and so many people I love. to be apart of music that has spread so far. and it has been an honor for me to be carried by you - the people of red mountain - who allow me so much space and freedom to be who I am, to wrestle with the things I wrestle with, to question the things I question, and all the while, to stay, to hope, to be apart. I do not say this lightly - especially in light of the last year of my life - you have carried me through so much, and I am forever grateful. the music of this church may very well be the greatest work I'll ever be apart of. I hate to leave it. but the time has come.

brooke and I are moving to new york - I plan to be here through the month of april, and then we will be gone. our reasons for leaving are sad, and they are good. many of you know that I have been pursuing creative work outside of red mountain church (quarterrest) for some time now - and my hope is that I will be able to continue (and build) that work in new york - I am afraid of the challenges, afraid of failing, but I am excited about the possibilities. and at the end of the day, it is something I've just gotta do. I am looking forward to taking a break from church - it has been hard for me to be so close to the inner workings - and I have been in the church for so long - I am eager to find rest in a new place - and, most of all, I am eager to be alone with brooke. we need that.

it is worth saying, I think, that red mountain - our church - this place I have called home for so many years - has changed. we are not who we were when we set out. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, or an easily definable thing, or an unnatural thing, but it is worth admitting - it is an idea worth owning. in some ways, red mountain is no longer recognizable to me, and yet, it will always be a home to me. my hope is that, as you enter the next chapter in the life of this church, that you will take the time to define who you are, what your hopes for the city are, who you are here to serve, what your mission is, and that you will continually consider how the gospel is at work, in all of us, and in spite of us. even when it looks like it might not be.

red mountain music continues. we are putting the final touches on our last record. it will be out this summer. and it will be our best record yet, I promise you. and after that, I will keep exploring ancient texts, I will keep looking for people to collaborate with, and I will keep making this music that carries, the music that makes me feel like I'm not so alone. the music that I feel like I was created to make.

in the weeks to come, I am available to meet and talk with any of you, as long as I have time. I have already had conversations with so many of you, and it would be good to keep talking. I will miss you - I will miss this place - I will miss your kindness and your familiarity - and I will miss the musicians, who have become some of my closest friends -

thank you for giving me so many years here. thank you for creating the space for so much beautiful music. thank you for being a church that for so many years has been welcoming to artists. thank you for supporting me and allowing me to grow. I am forever grateful to red mountain church - you will be missed - and my heart is heavy -

a couple weeks ago I found myself in a catholic church, in a confessional, sitting right in front of a priest. I sat down, didn't know what to do, and the priest asked "are you catholic?" and I said "no." and the priest smiled at me with his kind eyes and said "that's ok, god's love is not just for the catholics." and his idea blew me away. this idea that he hadn't pinned god down - hadn't figured it all out - that god really was that big. one of the things I love about the old hymns we sing - and I say this often - is that they paint a picture of a really big jesus. and my hope for myself - and the hope I have for everyone I love - is that this really big jesus we speak of will overwhelm us and change us - that we will press on and love well and continue to find hope and faith - however that plays out.

happy valentines day

2010-02-14T01:26:00.000-08:00

a few years ago, I had the pleasure of traveling up to minneapolis and working on a eliot morris record with dan wilson. dan wrote me a few months back, asking about some of my photographs, and it reminded me how much I enjoyed meeting him and working with him. anyway, he just posted this song and I am going to share it here.

what dan says about the song:

Happy Valentines Day!

I've spent most of the winter in Minneapolis, snowed in and writing songs for myself. It had been a hectic and fun two years of touring and collaborating with various brilliant musicians, but the time had come for me to get into my own head, alone, and see what music was there.

I wasn't sure what would happen, but a lot of songs came out.
The recordings I've made so far of these new songs are very simple, usually just voice and guitar, maybe an extra piano or pump organ here and there. Sometimes not.

Here's a clip of one of them, "Everything Green." Tommy Stone, a filmmaker from Minneapolis, came to the studio where I work and filmed me recording it. Then he made this.
I am sending this song to you all as a Valentine's greeting. Maybe you'll want to forward the link to someone you love, someone for whom you wish all good things. I would like it if you did. Please pass it on.

new orleans road trip 2010

2010-02-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

so I went to new orleans this weekend, with my good friends benjamin, t.scott, and stephen. we were going to go camping out in the sypsey wilderness, but it was too cold and rainy, so at the last minute we changed plans for new orleans. I love new orleans - one of my favorite cities of all time. and I was thankful to be able to go with friends who can enjoy a city like new orleans without tempting me to totally destroy my life (which you can actually do in less than ten minutes in new orleans - proven fact). we had a great time - honestly nothing too crazy but we enjoyed staying out late, taking in the city, eating amazing food, and watching everything around us. I love places - I love to travel and just meet people and experience a city and a place - new orleans offers everything. I go there about once a year and I love it more and more every time I go.

one of my favorite things about new orleans is the street music. every city's got it. but none of them have it like new orleans. here's a few videos:

and of course the crowd on bourbon street, superbowl weekend, was absolutely insane. this is taken around 1am.

probably my favorite part of the trip is my visit to the st. louis cathedral in jackson square. we walked in just as mass was about to start for saturday evening, and there was a line for the confessional - about 5 people long. stephen said to me "murph you should go and confess your sins." he was probably joking but I immediately walked over and stood in line. about ten minutes later, I'm in a confessional, staring directly into the eyes of a catholic priest (I thought he would be behind a curtain, but he was looking right at me). I walked in, closed the door, sat down. my friends were outside looking at me through a little window.

the priest said something that I don't remember but it was formal and ritualistic. then the conversation went like this:

BTM: "I don't know what to do here."

Priest: "Are you catholic?"

BTM: "No."

Priest: (very pleasant and welcoming) "well, god's love is not just for catholics. this is a confessional where you can come and tell god what you are sorry for. Do you have any sins you would like to confess?"

BTM: "I can think of things I have done that are wrong, but I don't feel sorry for them."

Priest: "well, my hope is that god will work in your heart to show you the ways you have offended him, and the ways those things can be reconciled."

BTM: "ok"

then the priest prayed some prayer that I don't remember. it was short and felt like something he had prayed so many times that even he had no idea what the words meant anymore. but it held mystery, and for some reason I liked it. I thanked him and walked out.

"god's love is not just for catholics". man I loved that. and I loved that this catholic priest - the last person I ever thought would have grace and hold hope for someone like me - did exactly that. I hope he's right.

new orleans is a dark city. a city with secrets and stains. a city where spirits are crushed and despair abounds. and yet, it is beautiful. and if you look closely, there is hope. that's what all the music is about. it has to be.

I like that.

quarter rest studios

2010-02-02T15:46:00.000-08:00

I finally have a place to showcase all of the commercial studio work I've been doing for the past five years (can't believe it has been 5 years). and that, dear internet, is something worthy of posting on theworstweblogintheworld. t.scott did all of the web design, just as he did for our awesome {t}photographic website.

check out the new site: quarter rest studios

more exciting projects going on than I can list. so far this year (it's only february 2) I've worked on a commercial for the us. postal service, finished a record, have been working on a film score, have been working on an ad campaign for a client in atlanta, and have made incredible progress (nearing the finish line) on the next red mountain project. and many more projects in the pipeline, including a full length documentary about SPORTS. which I find of course ironic and awesome. I did the trailer for it a few months ago (featuring shaquille oneal and matthew maconahay) and it apparently made it past pilot approval - now to work on a 90 minute documentary film.

a friend asked me last week "brian, when you were a kid, what did you want to do when you grew up?" and I smiled and said "I wanted to compose music for tv and movies". incredibly grateful for the work I've been given, and hopeful for what is yet to come.

I've still got a lot of photography work going on, and I also have lots of other things going on in my screwed up head about life, relationships, what is real and true and good, but for now, a bit of celebration about the quarter rest milestone.

thanks for reading -

new years eve

2009-12-31T13:40:00.000-08:00

2009 was a bad year. I know we say that every year - we talk about how much we are looking forward to the fresh start and the clean slate that a new year suggests - because looking back on a year, its easy to feel like it was hard - but truly - 2009, for me, was a really bad year.

lots of things happened that were sad for me - more divorce, more strained friendships, opportunities missed, hard conversations in my own marriage, new regrets and new loss. but the reason 2009 will forever be remembered as a sad year for me is the death of my friend aaron. and this night in particular - it is a dark night.

new years eve one year ago - I was at aaron's house. I remember before then I was at another party and I was tired and I was thinking about going home but aaron called me and said "where are you??" and he also said he would beat me up if I didn't come over so off I went to what ended up being the most fun NYE party I ever went to. I remember walking into aaron and ashleigh's house - full of so many of my friends, and I put up my hands and screamed. aaron handed me a drink and the next few hours were filled with joy and laughter. honestly, the most fun party I ever attended. it was a good, warm night, full of life. and it was aaron at his best - his home full of good people - and aaron playing his role of perfect host.

it was the last time I ever saw aaron smile.

aaron died 9 weeks into the new year - none of us saw it coming - things were hard and sad - I have regrets about the ways I missed aaron in those last days - but in the midst of the sadness there were good moments. we took a road trip to atlanta and stayed at my sister's house. we went to on tap and I told aaron he was losing weight. I was at his house several times, talking with him and ashleigh. when frank called me on march 5, telling me he was going to the hospital - that aaron had just died - I didn't believe it. when i got to the hospital I felt alone and angry. and a few days later, when we buried aaron, only a few yards away from where we buried joe, I felt about as empty as I ever felt.

I have been thinking about aaron a good bit more, lately. I was at the airport and I saw a man walking - he had aaron's walk and aaron's dark hair. I told brooke the man looked just like aaron and she just smiled at me. I got an email from one of aaron's brothers recently - he checks in on me every few months and I'm thankful for that. and I have these dreams - these dreams that I know I'll have for a long time because I've had them with joe for about ten years now - the dream is I'm at a party, and in walks aaron. we all turn and say "we thought you were gone??" and he smiles and says "nah, I'm right here." no idea what the dream means, but its always so real, and so sad to wake up from.

glad 2009 is wrapping up, but anxious of what's ahead for 2010. I don't have much hope for any good to come. not anytime soon.

christmas concert in one week!

2009-12-14T12:12:00.001-08:00

ok, getting a lot of questions about our christmas concert - it will be at workplay, monday dec. 21 - tickets are only $5. doors at 7:30, music starts at 7:45. Adam Wright will be playing a short opening set. it's going to be great! at our last rehearsal, we were all talking about how effortlessly the music came together - we've got a great big band (8 people total), and we're going to be playing all the songs off our christmas record, as well as some of our other favorite hymns.

speaking of our christmas record, we just got some amazing interweb press over at justin taylors blog - check out his link and get a few free songs if you don't already have them...

ok. I'm leaving for new york. going to be good to get out of town for awhile. see you in a week, birmingham, and I'm looking forward to sharing some christmas songs with you...

best camera

2009-10-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

I've been following chase jarvis for a little while now. he's basically awesome at taking pictures. he's also really innovative and developed one of the best iphone photo editing apps currently available (it's called "best camera" and you can find out more about it here).

one of the things chase says, and I've heard other people say, is: "the best camera is the one you have with you". and it's true. my iphone actually has a pretty decent built in camera. and I find that I keep using it to document my life. and now that I can edit (I use 2 or 3 different apps to edit my photos, depending on what I'm wanting to do) right in my phone, its been really fun to see what kind of images I can get. it's kind of a fascinating way to tell a story, because the pictures are always free-spirited and fun, never taken with any sort of agenda. anyway, enough about that. here's some of my recent iphone photos:

Photo Exhibit TONIGHT!

2009-09-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to come by and say hello - tonight is our kickoff evening where me and t.scott will be showcasing some of our photos - most of them birmingham-specific.

live music, chilled out vibe, just come in and say hi! crestwood coffee has beer and wine too so it's a good place to chill out before or after dinner. hope to see you down there!

Sept. 22. photo exhibit

2009-09-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

me and t.scott will be showcasing some of our photography in crestwood coffee - our local neighborhood coffee shop, for one month, 9/15 - 10/15. and our big kickoff event is Tuesday Sept. 22, 6-9pm. I've printed up a bunch of stuff, and we'll see what you think. most of my pictures look really good BIG, so I'm kind of looking forward to seeing what over $1k in printing costs looks like. (hint - come buy something!)

I've been resistant to the idea of doing any sort of gallery showing, mostly because it has seemed like a lot of work for me with very little potential return. I really just like taking pictures, mostly just for me, of a dead and dying yet beautiful world. but, a lot of people have asked me to do something like this, and charlotte donlon has been doing a lot of footwork for it, and t.scott is going in with me, so it should be fun.

our pictures will be focusing on birmingham. expect huge, colorful, gorgeous prints of our dying city to be scattered around the shop by yours truly. I've even got a nice one looking right up vulcan's fat ass. and if that's not enough, my dad will be there showing everybody how much I suck at music.

hope to see you tuesday sept. 22. crestwood coffee.

Red Mountain Music Tour April 2010

2009-08-25T12:55:00.000-07:00

(please forward this on to anybody you think might benefit. thanks!)

Red Mountain Music (www.redmountainmusic.com.) is currently planning a tour for April 2010 (dates open april 18-may 4). We are booking in the southeast and east coast. We are targeting college groups (RUF in particular), but are open to whoever might have interest. This is going to be a humble tour and our hope is to meet with as many people as possible, share some hymns, and maybe make some new friends. If you love nerdy hymn music, if you have musicians who might want to meet and talk and share some ideas, and if you have the space to have us, please contact brian at briantmurphy at mac dot com.

thanks!

new music (as always) in the works (I think our best yet), so stay tuned...

Brian T. Murphy
www.redmountainmusic.com

brooke opens champagne with massive wrench

2009-08-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

gift card giver

2009-07-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago I was in atlanta for a photo shoot for gift card giver - an organization which encourages you to give them your unused giftcards (you probably have some in your wallet right now), which they then use for charity. I was skeptical of the idea at first, but it really is a pretty cool concept.

I took about 1200 photos, which were then used to make this stop-motion video. pretty cool:

Card Me. The Story. from Gift Card Giver on Vimeo.

(yes they totally misspelled my name at the end)

spots. friday. speakeasy.

2009-07-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

that's right. we only play about twice a year now (public shows), and they are always a blast. expect two drumsets, even more robots than last time, and naked donkeys. lots of naked donkeys. gonna be crazy.

last time we started too late. won't happen this time, I promise. come on out around 9:30pm. bring your friends, the room is non-smoking now, which is an improvement. have a few drinks and enjoy some chill music.

poster designed by shawn avery

flaming republican war lovers (shoot me I'm dead)

2009-06-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

yes, that is the full band title. but usually we just call ourselves the flamers. or flaming republicans.

this band is entirely tom cannon's fault, and I thank him for starting it and letting me play drums. I am really not very good at drums, but I am having a blast learning. it's so fun to not play keys and to just sit back and lay down a beat and let that be the only thing I have to do. such a new way to experience playing music.

the band, technically, is not very good, but we are a lot of fun. I seriously have been talking about this band almost constantly because of how fun it is. one time I thought my head was going to explode because of all the fun, and then my head actually did explode. come see us play thursday night and you will probably start dancing. and I will start screaming from the drum kit with delight. and kittens will rain from the ceiling and we will smash them.

all joking aside, if you miss this event, you will probably regret it for the rest of your life and then you will probably resort to cannibalism.

Tom Cannon: Bass
Evan Munger: Vocals
Brian T. Murphy: Drums
Preston Sartelle: Guitar, Vocals
Jared Shull: Keyboards
Jeremy Snyder: Lead Guitar, Vocals

when: 8:30pm
where: o kafés (2901 2nd ave. s.)

photos taken by t.scott carlisle. full set here.

motorcycle trip

2009-06-15T06:20:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a 4 day motorcycle trip. benjamin and I met brett up near the ocoee river and then the next day took the blue ridge parkway to asheville (beautiful). we made camp near a lake just outside asheville and then spent the next day riding all through the mountains of north carolina. it was some of the most challenging and exciting riding I've ever done (nothing like leaning a 1,000 lb bike through thousands of turns) as well as the expected wonderful hang time with the guys. it is so nice to get away to the mountains - I'm very thankful for good friends who love the outdoors, love good conversation, and who make the time to get away.

and I say it all the time, but there really is nothing like being on a motorcycle. I never get tired of it.

full set of photos here.

brett's more detailed account here.

psalm 126

2009-06-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

my on again - off again work with a potential psalms project is currently, for a variety of reasons, on. here is a demo for one I just did tonight.

psalm 126
text: watts psalter (published 1852)
music: brian t. murphy (2009)

when god revealed his gracious name
and changed my mournful state
my rapture seemed a pleasing dream
the grace appeared so great

the world beheld the glorious change
and did thy hand confess
my tongue broke out in unknown strains
and sung surprising grace

the lord can clear the darkest skies
can give us day for night
make drops of sacred sorrow rise
to rivers of delight

great is the work! thy neighbors cried
and owned the power divine
great is the work! my heart replied
and be thy glory thine

let those who sow in sadness wait
till the fair harvest come
they shall confess their sheaves are great
and shout the blessings home

though seed lie buried long in dust
it shan't deceive their hope
the precious grain can never be lost
for grace ensures the crop

killing abortion doctors = happiness for millions of people.

2009-06-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

admit it. you're happy.

if you are a regular reader of this blog, chances are you are also a hard core pro-lifer who will publicly denounce dr. tiller's murder and privately rejoice and feel a sense of justice.

I just read this article which was as confusing as it was long-winded and dull.

my view is not really the point (hint: I'm not pro-life), but it is interesting to me how easily we will disregard human life, and immediately pretend to care about unborn children. I hope dr. tiller's death prompts people to care more about human life, whether it is an unborn fetus, or an old man reaching the natural end of his long life.

it won't. people will continue hating. but it's a hope worth having.

I will believe that pro life people actually care about human life when I see evidence from those same people that they actually care about people who are currently alive.

hell, if pro lifers cared better for the people in their own communities, there might not even be any desire or need for abortions. we could start with that.

until then: sorry, human life isn't sacred. that argument dies in the huge churches it started in.

california

2009-05-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

got back a few days ago from california. highlights of the trip were seeing joseph and rachel, dinner with my sweet aunt beth, and then, time away in napa and sonoma, drinking wine and not doing much else. I didn't take many pictures. just a few of brooke the last day. it was a nice break.

my business lies at jesus' gate

2009-05-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

we've been ramping up our work on a new record - more precisely - yet another collection of old hymns put to new music from red mountain. we are backlogged on songs dating back over three years now - we have many more songs then we will ever be able to record well, so it is hard to know what we are going to do with them. we are considering putting out more b-sides, releasing songs for digital release (download) only, etc. we really have no idea, and I personally still can't resist the concept of an album - it is the only way I really feel like I can complete a collection of music. anyway, you can read more about the new record here. and in the meantime, here is a really rough demo of one I wrote about a week ago. I record a lot of my demos in photobooth on my mac, hence the video. there is absolutely no telling if this song will ever make it to a record, and right now I really like it, so I am sharing it here, lest it becomes buried like so many of our songs.

my business lies at jesus' gate

words: erskine & berridge, taken from gadsby's hymns #743

music: brian t. murphy (2009)

my business lies at jesus' gate

where many a lazar (beggar) comes

and here I seek and here I wait

for mercy's falling crumbs

the lord I hear the hungry feeds

and cheers the souls distressed

he loves to bind up broken reeds

and heal a bleeding breast

his name is jesus full of grace

which draws me to his door

and will not jesus show his face

and bring his gospel store?

supplies of every grace I want

and each day want supply

and if no grace the lord will grant

I must lie down and die

some thoughts on red mountain {or} (we're all excluded)

2009-05-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

a theme I keep hearing when I talk to people is that they feel excluded. they feel misunderstood. they feel unappreciated and voiceless. I think this is actually a larger theme for much of what it means to be alive and be human, but I have been thinking about it in the context of our small community here at red mountain, and I have a few observations.

first: literally, everybody feels excluded. I am married without kids. part of the exclusion we feel is an isolation from our friends who are married with kids. we feel the distinction of having more freedom with our time (and with that comes a degree of guilt), but also feel the tension and second guess the judgement and glances from our child bearing friends. just last night I had dinner with some friends who have children, and they talked (she specifically) about how alone the moms feel. how our church has not paid attention or made space in ways that maybe we should have. I mentioned that I think everyone feels excluded, and she agreed with me. and then we talked about it some. I asked her who she thought was on the "inside" at red mountain. she said "I don't know, the musicians?" and I laughed, and it dawned on me how overwhelming this sense of exclusion is. I can totally see how someone would think that the musicians are maybe a group who feels deeply connected and an integral part of red mountain. in reality, many of the musicians barely attend our church, may or may not be christians, and often feel very misunderstood and specifically excluded. it is something we talk about all the time.

I will admit that I personally have struggled tremendously with this feeling of exclusion. I have this tension with where I am, what I believe, what I feel the tide of our community is and the direction it is heading. the longer I am here, the more my sense of awkwardness grows. the more I realize the handicaps in our relationships, and the more I learn to be quiet and the more I retreat to the few people I know well. this is cowardice and I have plenty of my own issues built into this, but at the same time I am realizing, if BTM feels excluded at red mountain (a place where, if I am reflective and honest, I will admit has taken great care of me, has loved me well, has supported and encouraged me in quiet and loud ways for many years), surely, so many more of us do too.

one of the issues for us is that we are not very welcoming. I actually think that this is not a very big distinction, as most churches are far from welcoming (especially if you are a bad person). but it is definitely an issue for us, for sure. something I have known for a long time is that people who are new to red mountain have a hard time feeling connected. they have a hard time forging relationships. sure there are exceptions. but there are a lot of people who quietly come and go, some who even stay for years, without notice. this, to me, is a great sadness and a great failure, and on this issue, I have blood on my hands.

and ironically, it is some of the people who have been here the longest, since we started, who talk the most about feeling excluded. maybe this is because we have such high hopes and expectations. maybe this is because we want the church to be ideal, and it is human. maybe this is because we are young enough as a community to still fight for what we hope to be true.

I don't know much about the bible or theology or really even christianity for that matter. but I do know something about people and relationships, and I think that these feelings of exclusion are real, valid, and an important part of who we are as a community. what is it that makes us feel so alone? what is it that drives us to fill this need from our local church? how do we love others when we are so desperately searching for love and acceptance for ourselves? how do we move forward and start to be more inclusive? how do we bring young, old, sick, healthy, rich, poor, loved, unloved, alone, worn out people together and forge a community that is relevant and meaningful? are these hopes even meant to be satisfied in this life?

at the end of the day, mysteriously, I have great hope for red mountain. it has endured and it has been sustained. it has fostered deep pain and sadness, and it has also fostered shelter, encouragement, and support on levels I personally had never witnessed before. I have seen people change and grow. I have watched people grow angry and leave. and through it all, I have looked around and constantly thought "i have nowhere else to go". it is a good place.

so, we all feel excluded. I think this is important.

I don't really know where this idea leads. but I do hope that maybe we can begin to think freshly about what this community really is and can look like. maybe we can start to feel connected within our feelings of rejection and exclusion. that's where I am, anyway.

I love to ride motorcycles

2009-05-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

I've been riding motorcycles for a long time. I think ten years. it never gets old. I always enjoy pulling out the bike. and the good thing about living in the deep south is, you can ride all the time. year-round. the other good thing about the deep south is all the old highways. one of my favorite things to do is to hit the road with some good friends, load up the bikes with camping gear, and just drive. when we get tired, we stop on the side of the road and set camp. and in the morning we keep riding.

no agenda other than to be quiet, sit still, rest, get some wind, soak in small towns, and long conversation with good friends. actually, now that I think of it, we have a very specific agenda.

the trip last weekend was with benjamin and steve. we got rained on really hard. actually, that's not exactly accurate. we were in the middle of a flash flood / tornado situation and were strategically running (read: driving really fast) from tornadoes all the way home. even with the bad weather, it was still a blast. next trip in a few weeks...

anna gilmore flowers

2009-05-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago I took a few photos for anna gilmore - a friend and terrific florist. you should totally check out her site and hire her for all of your floral needs. seriously.

anna has been a good friend to t-photographic, and its been a pleasure to shoot several weddings that anna has done, and where the bride has said repeatedly "these flowers are perfect!" I need to post some shots from the weddings we've been doing. but for now - here are some of anna's flowers.

spots. tonight. speakeasy.

2009-04-24T08:44:00.000-07:00

we haven't played a live show in quite some time. so tonight should be somewhat explosive and exciting.

as always, at our home the speakeasy.

bhamfm is promoting the show. major props to them for all their hard work.

see you tonight!

the spots @ speakeasy - summer 2007 from avery-co on Vimeo.

los angeles

2009-04-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

I had never been to LA before. it was interesting, I liked hollywood. for some reason I like touristy areas. I like the stores that sell the ugly tshirts and coffee mugs and postcards. i like watching people take horrible photographs. I like being in a place that is totally contrived. its so unbelievably fascinating. like an alternate reality or something. so I loved hollywood. fortunately my friend will youngblood lives in hollywood. he works with famous people (I'd tell you who but I'm not sure I'm allowed). will and I went to high school together but have gotten to be really good friends recently, I guess over the past 3 years or so. he comes to town a couple times a year and we always end up staying out all night talking. so it was good to go to LA, see the city, but most of all it was good to just see will.

will, if you are reading, thanks for the hospitality. and thanks for introducing us to your friends. and thanks for driving us all over the city. seriously.

oh, and thanks for trying to murder us that night in the hills overlooking the city. that was cute.

san antonio

2009-04-17T07:21:00.001-07:00

the second part of my trip, I visited my old friend bill blackstone. been friends with bill for about 20 years, which is crazy. oh and yes I had a busted lip from a fight with a bull mastiff. and yes that is me, passed out, in front of the alamo:

tonight, red mountain music

2009-04-13T00:44:00.000-07:00

I intend to post some more photos from my trip, but I just haven't had time yet (to be honest I'm buried in edits from photo jobs that are taking priority).

a quick reminder that tonight, monday april 13, red mountain is doing an hour long set of music - our old nerdy hymn music. it will go from 6:30-7:30pm at red mountain church. childcare provided. come if you are interested. should be pretty cool.

I'm back

2009-04-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

so I went away on a trip. where I turned 30, and where I spent two weeks with brooke driving across america. we drove 5,000 miles, all across the american southwest. I'm going to start uploading some pictures. here's some from our 2nd stop, in austin, texas. it was my first time to austin and I can see why everybody likes it so much. I bought some cowboy boots, ate some tex mex, and really enjoyed the time catching up with larry and catharine. here's a few photos of austin:

hold on. hold on to me.

2009-03-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

"Hold On"

Hold on hold on to me hold on hold on to me
Sometimes there's no easy way
Got to cause somebody pain
Watching you you hit so hard on yourself
Cos you need someone to blame

Oh now what will you do
Oh now what will you do
Can't help the way you're feeling
Don't want to leave him so alone
Lisa cries her red hair streaming down feels like her heart is made of stone

aaron huffstetler

2009-03-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

I was asked to say a few things at the funeral yesterday, and some have asked for a copy. here it is:

I have two brothers, and I love them. and in my life I've been fortunate to have a few - just a few - friends who I have loved like a brother, and aaron was one of them. aaron and I have been friends for a long long time, and thinking back on it now, it seems like almost every memory I have that is significant, aaron has been apart of it. from girls and figuring out girls and not figuring out girls to going away to school and getting married, trying to figure out a way to make a living, trying to navigate through life and marriage and families and temptations and loss and hardships - aaron has been a friend I have leaned on frequently and consistently. he never let me down, he always showed up, he always kept his word. he was honest and he was quiet and he had a grand memory, which he used often to recall stories that were always just what we needed to hear and remember. and his smile. his smile was reserved but it was broad, and when it came, it washed over you, carried you, and brought joy; he had a smile that was as invasive and unavoidable as the morning light. and it was good.

aaron was the kind of friend who would not only join you for a road trip, but he would enthusiastically plan it and count down the days. and the time on the road, whatever the destination, would be filled with long talks, good music, and an eagerness to be known. he was a safe person to talk to. he was open minded. he was never judgmental, but he was principled.

he loved his daughters well. I watched them come to him and talk to him. curl in his lap and fall asleep. it was a beautiful thing to watch - my friend with his children.

aaron loved ashleigh well. I watched him carry her quietly and fearfully, and he never wavered. he never took his eyes away from her. and I know if he were here today, he would say "hey, its okay." he would want all of us to be comforted. he would want me to stop talking so much.

aaron and I talked often about faith. in large part because of my own dark, plaguing questions and fears. and aaron was always patient and kind. (and it might be this quality of his that I will miss the most)

it is sad to me how lacking so much of the language of christianity is in providing comfort and hope during time of grief and loss. prayers seem cold, and isolating. scripture quotes seems too mysterious, too out of place. god feels so far away. I find myself wanting to be allowed the space to not justify, to not reconcile, to not attempt to explain. I find myself longing for the freedom to be sad, to weep, and for the freedom to grieve, for what may be a really long time.

and for some reason, on friday, I remembered this story of lazarus. which is actually kind of amazing because I've been avoiding the bible for a really long time now. and I recall how in this story, there is a guy who dies, and jesus comes 4 days after he is dead. and jesus is there to raise him from the dead. to bring restoration and life and hope. not just in the long term, but immediately. and jesus arrives and instead of saying anything comforting, instead of any sort of spiritual explanation, or prayers, jesus weeps. he just cries. even though moments later, her performs a miracle and brings life, and restores everything, he first engages the pain and weeps. there is this profound notion that the god of the universe engages pain and restoration simultaneously.

and so while there is hope that in the long term, sad things really are being made untrue. maybe there is also hope that in the here and now, jesus weeps. and maybe there is hope that the pain and grief and the guilt that we are all quietly carrying alone (or with a close friend), is actually being carried for us and with us.

to aaron - I will miss your friendship, your smile, your loyalty, and the quiet, countless ways you carried me. to aaron's family - thank you for allowing me to be apart of your story. it is an honor I will be forever thankful for. to ashleigh, audrey, anna grace - you are surrounded today by people who love you and grieve with you, and my hope is that as our story continues, we can maybe carry you a fraction as well as aaron did.

may the hope that is the wide, deep river of mercy and grace cover and wash over all of us. and may we never forget the beautiful people we've lost.

aaron.

2009-03-05T21:37:00.001-08:00

one of my best friends died tonight. aaron huffstetler. we've been friends for about 16 years, and we shared a lot of memories and a lot of life together. he was a good man and a good husband and a good father. and he was the kind of man who just knew when to show up. he knew how to laugh, he knew how to open up his home, he knew how to be generous, and he knew how to be a good friend. he carried me in those quiet ways that only those who have logged a lot of years with you know how to do. he loved my music and came out to hear me play every time I had a gig. he came to my birthday parties. he had every record I've ever made, and he would talk to me about them. he had beautiful children, and I told him that every time I saw him.

I've lost a few best friends now, I really have, and to be honest, I'm really angry about it. and I'm really sad about it, too. I held aaron's widow, ashleigh, tonight, for a really long time. I told her I was so sorry. and I just stood there with her for a really long time as her body heaved in grief. I hugged aaron's parents and I told them I was sorry, too. I hugged my friend frank and I told him that if he dies that I am going to fucking lose it. and then I told him that I loved him. and then I went home and drank a bottle of wine and sat with my dogs and I've been playing piano (as frank predicted) for several hours now. brooke has been good to me. she has been quietly staying with me, even though I've been angry and upset and unkind to her.

tonight is a dark night. and I'm tired of people telling me that they are praying for me.

aaron was my friend, and he never fed me any bullshit like that.

thinking about that, and missing aaron, and weeping as I type.

and missing my friend.

home again, but only for a day

2009-02-23T08:17:00.000-08:00

just got home from san francisco. what a great trip. I was out there with the jons (jon black and jon becker) visiting our digerness friends, and doing some music for a conference with city church in santa cruz. the trip was complete - music with friends, late night delayed flights, long nights and good talks (when I was able to keep my eyes open), a trip to the santa cruz boardwalk, a ride on the santa cruz roller coaster, amoeba records (where I acquired the entire nick drake catalogue), and a meal of cow tongue and pig stomach, which made jon becker somewhat toxic for the plane ride home.

I shot film all weekend, so no photos from me yet. here are a few from the friends.

tomorrow I hit the road with griffin. good times.

comment magazine

2009-02-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

this is cool.

in other news. I'm in san francisco. loving all things west coast and all things digerness. and this weekend, I'm shooting only film.

pittsburgh

2009-02-19T03:53:00.000-08:00

valentines weekend, I went to pittsburgh to participate in a conference. I was there as a photographer, and my role was to talk to college kids about photography, as well as document the event and the city of pittsburgh. it was a fairly open ended job and it was a great experience. the interesting part of the job, to me, was that there were several other photographers covering the event, so the pressure was off and I felt really free to go for the images that I would want to take, not the images that I felt I needed to take. and since I love cities, streets, and strangers, I spent a lot of my time wandering the cold streets of pittsburgh. it was wonderful.

along the way, I met some wonderful people. specifically scott calgaro and his wife, who I hope to visit with again soon.

and I got some great time to reconnect with my friend jeff shinabarger, who is more or less a genius, in spite of the fact that he tried to keep me from drinking too much while I discussed conspiracy theories with mrs. barber at dinner.

and also, if you are in the pittsburgh area looking for a wedding photographer, check out caryn azure. she was there at the conference doing the same thing I was doing, only much better, and I think she got actual shots of the actual conference, whereas I'm not sure how much of that I did.

I've been buried in the studio this week. clint was in town for a few days and we put in some serious hours (I think two 12 hour days) working on two of brad lyon's songs. (they sound amazing.) I'm also still going through edits for a wedding I shot last weekend. and I leave in a few hours for san francisco. so I haven't had time to edit much from pittsburgh yet, but here are a few early favorites:

I wish I had made this video

2009-02-10T14:54:00.001-08:00

and in case you love sports and are afraid that I am making fun of you, let me clarify: yes, I am definitely making fun of you.

*special thanks to jacob for this one

BTM - When are you going on the road with Griffin House?

2009-02-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

okay. so a lot of people have been asking me about this. there is confusion, because obviously griffin is on the road right now, and I'm still here in birmingham. I think three people have asked me about this just today.

I pick up with griffin in a couple weeks and play the following shows:

feb 25 - philadelphia
feb 26 - dc
feb 27 - nyc
feb 28 - boston
(plus one more in ohio somewhere)

I have been previously booked for gigs in san francisco the weekend of feb - 19-21, so unfortunately I will not be able to play the atlanta, birmingham or nashville shows. very bummed about this, but of course it's always nice to go to san francisco so I'm getting over it pretty well.

A TON going on right now. finished up music production for a series of commercials up in wisconsin, in the middle of a new record for some really great songwriters here in town, flying to pittsburgh in a few days for a very unique and interesting photography job (complete with interns) (more on that later), and beginning the process of a couple new projects from red mountain (more on this later as well).

oh. and I've been shooting quite a few weddings. which are turning out beautifully. if you are getting married and you want to look natural and sexy and beautiful you really should call me. just sayin.

going back to the title of this worstweblogintheworld post. if you are in any of those cities above and you dig griffin house you should come out and catch a show and be filled with joy. otherwise you will be filled with sorrow and it will not be my fault.

george winston sucks

2009-02-06T09:00:00.001-08:00

I grew up listening to a lot of george winston. don't worry, I listened to cool music too. my first album purchase ever was paula abdul's "forever your girl", which I think I got in 1988, when I was 9 years old. I rode with my brothers to the mall and got the tape. back in the car on the way home mike made fun of me, and danny told mike to shut up as he put the tape in and we rode home. "opposites attract" and "coldhearted" started to play, and I'll never forget how it felt, hearing my new record blasting through the speakers of my brother's '79 monte carlo. I sat in the back seat, not saying a word.

as a small item of personal redemption, I'll mention that my next album I remember purchasing was sting's "ten summoner's tales" which I still listen to this day.

but along the way, with my elton john, U2, vertical horizon, michael jackson, indigo girls, pink floyd, ccr, paul simon, fleetwood mac records, I listened to george winston. to be honest, growing up I listened to so much music its hard to really remember. I remember devouring whatever was new (I'm still kind of like this today) so as a result, so much of what I loved at any point is now tiresome to me. and I remember making repeated attempts at jazz (I have over a hundred jazz records that I never listen to) but it never worked. jazz never moved me. it never has. and I have too much baggage with it to be able to really hear it.

the home I grew up in was an eerily silent home, so as soon as I could drive, I was working as much as I could (mostly just to be free from the house), and I was spending literally all of my extra money on music.

but one person I do remember from high school was george winston. of course I always loved playing piano. and winston's music always resonated with me. long, flowing lyrical pieces and melodies buried in seemingly complex piano arrangements. I remember as a teenager picking apart what he did and realizing his playing was surprisingly simple and repetitive. I dug that. and for better or worse (probably worse), the music of george winston has been a huge influence on my playing. I have spent the past 8 or 9 years trying to deconstruct that, but still, in the quiet moments when I'm pretty sure no one is listening to me play, my music sounds a lot like his. it just sort of feels like the music I have in me.

so on wednesday night, when winston was playing at the carver theatre, on the north side of birmingham, I was looking forward to it. I imagined his music, which I like much less than I used to, taking me away and reminding me what he offered me 10, 15 years ago. the room was half full, and the old dingy theatre felt almost like a coffin. a relic of a city that is way past it's prime. winston is half bald, with a thick beard. he wears old, baggy jeans pulled up to his ribs. he doesn't wear shoes. his glasses are out of style. the piano is just a little out of tune. and winston gives off a vibe like he'd rather be anywhere else. drunk, perhaps, at home, alone. he takes deep breaths while he plays. and he plays stiffly, apparently unmoved by the music his fingers and locked wrists are producing.

he plays the piano and the room falls quiet. and I immediately notice that the music is not there. it's somewhere else. it's like I'm watching someone else play, like he is watching himself in the mirror, in a dream. he missed countless notes. the kind of mistakes that I make at home and scream out "AHH!" out of frustration that my hands can't keep up with my mind, and then I stop, play it slower, get it right before moving on. he made huge mistakes, and never indicated that any of them bothered him. his notes, instead of being crisp and having intent, were slurred together and when combined, said nothing. beautiful melodies that should have swept me away instead were lost in the sloppiness of their execution, and what was left was a flat, lifeless soundtrack to a room already half filled with death.

don't get me wrong. I loved the concert. and I got to see two old friends from high school. and it was a relaxing break from a new record I've been working really hard on. and it was good to see that george winston is still playing. and it was good to know that my music has some distinctions from george winston.

and it was good to see again that music carries me, more than it carries george winston. or at least more than it was carrying him on wednesday night.

ipod.

2009-02-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

brooke bought me my ipod I think christmas 2003. it was a 40 gig. and it was awesome. I think this sweet little baby cost about $500. and over the past 5 years, it has carried my music with me wherever I've gone. I've dropped it countless times, replaced the battery twice, and taken it apart to fix it more times than I can count. countless nights with headphones on, long hours in the car, traveling all over the country, and my ipod has always been right with me.

but a couple days ago, it breathed its last. I went out and bought a new ipod, of course. and even though it is nicer and cleaner and has color and video and shoots laser beams, I still like the old one better.

I'll miss you, old ipod.

amazing

2009-01-28T04:07:00.000-08:00

these guys just keep blowing my mind. and I know everybody's already seen this, but seriously.

thanks preston for sharing this. it reminded me how much I love the beatles.

january is good for writing, hurting, and being alone.

2009-01-26T23:14:00.000-08:00

have not been posting as much lately. things have been intense. a solid mix of bad and good. I have some friends, one in particular who has been a good friend to me for a long time, in ways that I have quietly needed someone to be a good friend to me, and he says that I am "the meetinest person" he knows. not sure if that is true or not, but it's funny when he says it, and it is true, I go to a lot of meetings. I keep up with a lot of people. and of course, some people more than others.

been sitting with a number of my friends through some particularly dark, worrisome times. it's made it easy to second guess how much hope any of us have. and then over the weekend I drove to nashville with some old college friends who are remarkably conservative. I was surprised by some of the things they said and talked about - much of it seemed so foreign to me - but I still appreciated the time and the chance to reconnect. and it was interesting to be reminded about the way I used to think about things. seems like another life.

I've been taking a lot of photographs, and I've been lining up some pretty exciting photo jobs. more on that as they come; I'm still so surprised by this venture. I enjoy it, and I like pictures, and I am thankful for the opportunity to tell stories and show scenes and people the way I see them. and I say this so much, but it just sort of nags on my soul - at the end of the day, I'm really not a photographer, I'm a musician. and I know nobody really cares about that but I have this constant tension about it and it really does kind of drive me crazy. brooke rolls her eyes at me when I talk about it, which I attribute to her wisdom. but lately, it's been driving me to write an absurd amount of music. I've been recording a number of demos in the video mode of the photobooth application on my mac, and this image comes from one of those videos.

I am anticipating a lot of writing and travel in the coming weeks and months. I will try to keep some images and music on this blog, as well as some of the ideas I am constantly mulling for the worstweblogintheworld.

and on a lighter note, I have joined a new band where I am playing drums and it is the most fun I have had playing music in maybe several years. and that is not to say that music has not been fun for me, it is really just me saying that playing drums is awesome.

beauty of urban decay

2009-01-19T06:13:00.000-08:00

not sure how this happened, but somehow they used one of my pictures for this. kind of cool.

dear atalie,

2009-01-14T19:50:00.001-08:00

thanks for reading.

(wink)

give me a hoe down, please

2009-01-13T06:44:00.000-08:00

you know what I love? I love a good hoedown. there's nothing quite like a room filled with awkwardly dancing human beings.

you throw in a banjo, maybe an accordion, maybe a bass, maybe a guy with a microphone telling you to "docie doe" and what you have is a patented recipe for joy.

so I say, sign me up, I'm in.

when I was in jr. high, we had hoe downs during PE. at this point in my life, it represented the closest any woman (and by woman I of course mean 13 year old girl with braces) had ever been to me. it was exciting and I dug it.

when I was in college, we had hoe downs. this is because I went to auburn, and has nothing to do with the fact that auburn is a terrible place for anybody to go to college. but auburn is in the middle of nowhere. and so for fun we would go out to somebody's barn house, clear out all of their goats and chickens and horses and crocodiles, spread out some hay, turn on the hi-fi and then dance the night away as we all caught malaria. gosh those were good times.

I have heard that some friends may be planning a hoe down here in birmingham. when that goes down, BTM will be there, dancing his heart out. about this, I have no doubt.

tornado skies

2009-01-07T01:12:00.000-08:00

we've had some crazy weather lately. I'm getting increasingly picky about when I like to take pictures. when the sky is like this, it's basically impossible to get a bad shot. amazing. took all these this afternoon, and yes, I got soaked in the process.

it is 2009, time for more photos

2009-01-01T20:03:00.000-08:00

happy new year, world. and thanks to aaron and ashleigh for hosting a surprising and exciting NYE party.

brooke texted me a few nights ago and said "the sky is amazing right now". so I grabbed my camera and went for the car. this is what I got:

top records of 2008

2008-12-28T11:37:00.000-08:00

I believe this is the third year I have been doing this. I think this is pretty helpful for finding good music. I have asked a few of my music loving friends to give me their top 10 records for the year. the only rule was that the record had to be released in 2008. for last years list click here.

two notes: I'd love to add hyperlinks for you, but I don't have time, and you have google, so there. also, feel free to add commentary, or your own lists in the comments section.

my list first, then my friends (notice I am quick and to the point):

Brian T. Murphy

sun kil moon - april
foals - antidotes
ryan adams - cardinology
ray lamontagne - gossip in the grain
cut copy - in ghost colours
beck - modern guilt
sera cahoone - only as the day is long
jon foreman - summer
coldplay - viva la vida
red mountain chuch - silent night

*wanted to include the bon iver record but can't because I got it in 2007.

Clint Wells

1. Ryan Adams - Cardinology
I promise this was not my top record of the year just because it's Ryan Adams. It's the sound of the Cardinals growing and weaving together through beautiful landscapes of deep, dark awesomeness. Download Immediately: Crossed Out Name, Sink Ships, Evergreen.

2. Hot Chip - Made In The Dark
This is a dance/techno band from Europe (where else? sheesh) that actually have really GREAT pop songs hidden beneath their beautiful walls of electronic sounds. Download Immediately: Ready For the Floor (top song of the whole year), Shake A Fist.

3. Metallica - Death Magnetic
Um, the POWER is BACK!!! This is for anyone who misses the ...And Justice For All days mixed with a bit of Black Album and Load/ReLoad era. A happy record for those of us who have waited patiently for Metallica to remind the world that they are the seminal soul destroyers of metal goodness. Download Immediately: The End of the Line, That Was Just Your Life.

4. Counting Crows - Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings
The first half of this record rocks like no other Crows record. The second half is typical sweetness reminiscent of August and Everything After. Download Immediately: Sundays, Washington Square.

5. Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death and all His Friends
This record has grown on me a lot. I know Coldplay is really uncool to like now...but when the hell did that happen? They are undeniable. Download Immediately: Lost (OMG, fucking amazing tune), 42.

6. Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
The first time I heard Grapevine Fires I nearly crapped my britches. Enough said. Download Immediately: Grapevine Fires.

7. Jon Black - Goodbye Golden Age
This record has some songs that have truly haunted me. Songs my soul has continued singing long after the record has ended. That means a lot to me and so does this collection of songs. Download Immediately: The Ghost of Elvis, Nothing But a Fire.

8. Al Green - Lay It Down
Surprisingly amazing record. Produced by ?uestlove. Sexy, tight, withheld. WAY behind the beat slow jams. A legend...and this record reminded me why. Download Immediately: Too Much

9. Ron Sexsmith - Exit Strategy of the Soul
What a sweetheart this guy is. Wow. LOVE his voice. LOVE his band. LOVE his tunes. Download Immediately: This Is How I Know, Thoughts and Prayers.

10. Flight of the Conchords - Flight of the Conchords
These songs are funny, sexy, surprisingly verbose, and of course, very smart. Download Immediately: Business Time, The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)

Alex Mason

1. Evil Urges - My Morning Jacket
2. Microcastle - Deer Hunter
3. Tha Carter 3 - Lil Wayne
4. Dear Scince - TV on the Radio
5. Hercules and Love Affair
6. Department of Eagles
7. Feed the Animals - Girl Talk
8. Dig Lazarus Dig - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
9. Fleet Foxes
10. Injustice Dance Party - East Buddha

Price Mason

Bon Iver- For Emma, Forever Ago
The Walkmen- You & Me
Dennis Wilson- Pacific Ocean Blue (rereleased)
Deerhunter- Microcastle
Cut Copy- In Ghost Colours
Magnetic Fields- Distortion
Beach House- Devotion
Gza- Protools
Fleet Foxes- Fleet Foxes
Lil Wayne- Tha Carter III

Nicholas Fiedler

Phantom Planet, Raise The Dead
Death Cab, Narrow Stairs
Ray LaMontagne, Gossip in the Grain
Nine Inch Nails, The Slip
Coldplay, Viva La Vida
Flight of the Conchords, Flight of The Conchords
Jon Black, Goodbye Golden Age
Nick Lowe, Jesus of Cool
Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend
Ben Folds, Way to normal

Benj Pocta

1. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
2. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
3. Ray LaMontagne - Gossip in the Grain
4. Sarah Jaffe - Even Born Again
5. Theater Fire - Matter & Light
6. Samamidon - All is Well

Jon Black

10. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
09. Hayes Carll - Trouble in Mind
08. My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
07. Weezer - The Red Album
06. Ben Folds - Way to Normal
05. Aimee Mann - @#%&*! Smilers
04. The Whigs - Mission Control
03. Coldplay - Viva La Vida
02. Alejandro Escovedo - Real Animal
01. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
01. Jon Black - Goodbye Golden Age

Brad Lyons
In no particular order.

1. Ben Folds-Way to Normal
2. Gossip in the Grain-Ray LaMontagne
3. Narrow Stairs-Death Cab
4. Only By the Night-Kings of Leon
5. Cardinology-Ryan Adams & The Cardinals.
6. (*)For Emma, Forever Ago-Bon Iver
7. Fleet Foxes-Fleet Foxes
8. Viva la Vida-Coldplay
9. April-Sun Kil Moon
10. Beck-Modern Guilt

* Yes this album was released independently in '07, but the national release was '08. Cut me some slack.

Larry Holt

in no particular order:
Magnetic Fields, Distortion
American Music Club, The Golden Age
The Raveonettes, Lust Lust Lust
Sun Kil Moon, April
Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes
The Gutter Twins, Saturnalia
REM, Accelerate
Santogold, Santogold
Kanye West, 808s & Heartbreak
Guns N Roses, Chinese Democracy

(I thought that Bon Iver record sucked.)

Shawn Avery

top 10 (-5)

i tried to come up with 10 albums, or even 10 artists that i really liked this year and i failed. i don't buy music anymore, or seek out new music. i'm long gone from the hungry-hipster habit of buying several cd's a month. i've been buying albums for 25 years... eventually, you get sick of the search, although i'm greatful when a good song finds me, which luckily did happen this year.

modern music releases are ubiquitous these days. we no longer have to seek out music. it finds us. my favorite album this year was released by one of the biggest rock acts in history... for free... on no label.

tangibility is dead, and so goes with it any true application of the album as we know it. when juxtaposed with the year 1968 - with rock, folk and soul music exploding out in ten million directions, pollinating the entire planet or 1978 - with the gigantic genre shifts of punk, new wave, heavy metal and early hip-hop... 2008 shuttered at it's own cultural irrelevance, and scurried away to some dark cubicle underground.

even 2007 seems like a great year compared to this one. history is dead, but that isn't neccessarily a bad thing. here a 5 decent albums that i haven't even finished listening to yet, but probably deserve a nod. there was definitely more exciting art being made for the eyes than for the ears this year...

nine inch nails - the slip
mgmt - oracular spectacular
santogold - santogold
empire of the sun - walking on a dream
radiohead - in rainbows

Carla Jean Whitley

Cardinals, Cardinology
It's far from my favorite Ryan Adams, but like I said, this is the year of the fan girl.

Tristan Prettyman, Hello
I can't help but smile when I'm listening to Tristan. This was a perfect spring CD.

Peter Bradley Adams, Leavetaking
Apparently this was also the year of dark, moody CDs... And Birmingham folks. This list is disproportionately skewed toward the locals.

Matthew Mayfield, The Fire EP
I am really excited to see what's ahead for MM.

Act of Congress, Declaration
One of my favorite local bands, and even better live.

Sandra McCracken, Red Balloon
This is my favorite in years from Sandra.

Sam Phillips, Don't Do Anything
Again with the moody CDs... there are a few moments when the light breaks through, but the dark, moody feel makes it for me.

Red Mountain Music, Silent Night
What's a year without a Red Mountain CD on the top 10?

Tift Merritt, Another Country
This CD can fight its way into the top 10 on the strength of "Broken" alone.

Punch Brothers, Punch
I was prepared to be devastated by Nickel Creek's "hiatus." Then I heard Chris with these guys. I think I'll be OK.

Cassia

My favorite album of 2008:

Portishead - Third
Sweet mother of mercy, this is a beautiful album. Like swimming across a lake at sunset. Seamless, thrilling, suspenseful, sensual, transcendent. Best listened to from one end to the other, in its entirety.

Honorable mentions:

My Brightest Diamond - A Thousand Shark's Teeth
Deerhunter - Microcastle
Beck - Modern Guilt
Pylon - Gyrate. This one actually came out like 30 years ago. But it's new to me. And this may just be what I've been missing all my life.

Brett Echerd

Foals - Antidotes
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Paper Route - Are We All Forgotten
Brooke Waggoner - Heal For The Honey
Red Mountain Music - Silent Night
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
Sigur Ros - Med Sud I Eyrum Vid Spilum Endalaust
Weezer - The Red Album
Beck - Modern Guilt

George Edema

Coldplay - Viva...
Pretty good. I like the energy. I put this one in whenever I can't think of anything to put in.

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
I really liked this album. It is unique sounding, and super catchy (which turned to annoying on one or two tracks).

Counting Crows - Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings
I was very disappointed with this one. Nothing stood out in a good way at all.

Juno - Soundtrack
Great compilation, Any soundtrack that has both a Kinks song and a Velvet Underground song is okay by me.
my retro pick for this year is Liz Phair's Whitechocolatespaceegg - cool voice, interesting delivery, super creative lyrics, and brilliant insight into the painful nuances of life.

Brian Barrett

I actually have 7 and they aren't all good:

1. "Cardinology" - Ryan Adams. "Easy Tiger" had lots of great hooks and singles - they grabbed you at first listen. "Cardinolgy" is a much more subtle album - and for some reason felt strange the first few listens with short songs and abrupt endings - but these songs are so incredibly solid and compete... yes - simple is usually more beautiful that complexity. And jumping out on a limb here: the Cardnials are the best touring band in the world right now.
2. "April" - Sun Kil Moon. Wow.
3. "Viva La Vida" - Coldplay. Chalk one up in the "redemption" category. "X&Y" - while it had some bright spots - was such a lame follow-up to "Rush of Blood" that I'd pretty much written Coldplay of as a creative entity. "Viva" flows well, sounds great and is full of nice elements (weird tag shifts on many songs). This one is a pleasure to listen to. Caveat: the videos for this album are less than creative, as was their extended SNL performance this fall.
4. "Narrow Stairs" - Death Cab for Cutie. Nice bass parts (guitars too).

Going to purchase with Christmas $. I've been streaming these and just haven't bought yet:
1. "Fleet Foxes" - Fleet Foxes. Kind of Autumn Defensey, Midlakey and Jim Jamesy...
2. "Volume One" - She & Him.

Disappointment of the year:
1. "Way to Normal" - Ben Folds. I have to say something about this one. Ben's last outing (2005's "Songs for Silverman") was a well crafted album & I enjoyed every track. It followed a year of 3 EP releases, also each full of great songs. I'm not sure what happened to Ben over the past 3 years but his muse must have skipped town. Do yourself a favor and skip this album.

Jeff Irwin

J. Tillman Vacilando Territory Blues
Mirah Location Temporary
Dawn Kinnard The Courtesy Fall
Peter Bradley Adams Leavetaking
Thad Cockrell To Be Loved
The Two Man Gentlemen Band Heavy Petting
Stephen Gordon Almond EP
Bon Iver For Emma, Forever Ago
Coldplay Viva La Vida
O'Death Broken Hymn, Limbs, and Skin

Chris Copeland (official winner of 2008 verbose awards)

I know you like it short but sweet Murph, but I like the commentary and Blogger gives you the space for free. I’ll try to keep it shorter than Jacob (from last year).

#10 Air France, No Way Down & The Deep Vibrations, Veracruz

A slight cheat here. Because these are EPs I am combining them as one album. These groups couldn’t be more different. Air France is techno pop and very enjoyable. The Deep Vibrations is southern rock (more like Ryan Adams than Lynard Skynard) and if Veracruzhad been a full-length record it might have cracked my top 3. These are very well conceived songs.

#9 The Joseph Arthur Cornucopia

Another cheat. Arthur got bit by the Ani DiFranco / Prince / Ryan Adams bug and released A LOT of music this year: 4 EPs before a full-length record in September. Unlike DiFranco though (a few absolutely killer five star songs and a few absolute throwaway one star spngs) these releases are all solid three and four star songs. Nothing mind blowing and nothing bad, just good music and a fun departure on the 2nd EP into psychedelic rock experimentation. The strongest songs actually come on the simple, first EP, Could We Survive.

#8 M83, Saturdays=Youth

The sugar cereal of my musical year. Tasty synth-pop straight out of a Molly Ringwald film; the final track is so ballsy-11 minutes of two synthesizer chords.

#7 Laura Gibson, If You Come to Greet Me

This record requires a certain mood or environment. They are sparse (most songs are just her vocal and a classical guitar) but pretty folk songs.

#6 MGMT, Oracular Spectacular

Is it possible to place an album in the top 10 on the strength of one song? If so, this could be it. The opening track, Time to Pretend, I just never want to stop playing. Good thing the rest of the album is excellent as well.

#5 The Black Keys, Attack & Release

The hard driving counter to Laura Gibson.

#4 David Byrne & Brian Eno; Everything That Happens Will Happen Today

Because of what he has accomplished with U2, Brian Eno is a producer of god-like proportions. But I recently listened to the Talking Heads album Remain in Light (which Eno prooduced with Byrne) for the first time and I thought it kind of sucked, despite it’s “seminal” status. I guess the 30 years in between was a good time of maturing, because this album has lost none of the experimental sounds and rhythms yet is so incredibly listenable. I bought this album on sale “just to see” and it has turned out to be one that stays on the iPod.

#3 TV on the Radio, Dear Science

A great example of a band taking a fantastic record (Return to Cookie Mountain from 2006) and tastefully improving upon it.

#2 Bon Iver, For Emma, Forever Ago

Just plain awesome. Will become the cliché choice, but who gives a damn?

#1 Matthew Ryan, Matthew Ryan Vs. the Silver State

My favorite of the year. I wonder how this guy made 10 records before I heard of him. This one is so close to perfect I am scared to delve into the past ones. Doug Lancio (of Patty Griffin fame) played guitars and produced this with the same kind of Daniel Lanois / ethereal thing going on. The songwriting is solid, reminiscent of Ryan Adams, and the music is simple four chord progressions made awesome by the underplayed yet just right backing parts. Ryan’s voice is Dylanesque in that it is texturally bad but fits so well with the songs and he sings and writes his lyrics with the authority of someone who has put his time in.

Jacob Tubbs

I was thinking Dead Confederate was an EP, but it’s actually a full length. That album is the best full-length I heard all year, and it is solid start to finish, with only 2 tracks that lose focus, and detract from the whole.
Coldplay’s new one is close. I am still a big Coldplay fan, and I think that album is very good start to finish.

Lykke Li – Little Bit EP (the album doesn’t improve at all)
British Sea Power – Krankenhaus EP
Avett Bros – The Gleam EP
MGMT – Time to Pretend EP (Oracular Spectacular comes up short as an album)
We Were Promised Jetpacks – WWPJ EP (includes best song of the year: Quiet Little Voices)

Good albums on my aborted list:
Wax Fang – La La Land is a solid album, but has some pretty bizarre moments (1000 kazoo harmony part comes to mind)
Black Keys – Attack & Release has a few killer tracks and a bit of filler in between. Epic moments.
M83 – Saturdays = Youth is the same.
Kings of Leon – Because of the Times – same. 3 of my favorite tracks of the year, but some real crap mixed in.
Hold Steady – Stay Positive – same. Several great songs, the best guitar solo of the year, and a couple clunkers (including Navy Sheets, the worst song they’ve ever made).
Ryan Adams – Cardinology – one of the most listenable albums of the year, but not “great” in my mind. Some very good tracks on there though.

thoughts on advent

2008-12-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

Last night was a good night. It was such a pleasure to gather with friends and play some of our advent songs at workplay. Thanks to everyone who made it out. Thanks especially to my sister katie, who drove in from atlanta (and back afterwards) to be there, which was pretty much awesome. the room last night was warm and was filled with good people and it was good to share some of the songs we’ve worked hardest on this year.

And as I said last night, I’ve been thinking a lot this year about advent, about Christmas. Its been good to spend time remembering these great mysteries that surround our faith. It is so easy to talk about baby jesus. It is easy to sort of forget how massive an idea baby jesus is. Maybe that’s why I prefer to sing about it.

I love the ideas of silence, of waiting, and that the climax of advent is this message "I am with you". for so much of the bible, god is silent. for so much of my story, god seems incredibly silent. A friend says to me that is all we really need to hear. “I am with you.” she says that is all we’ve ever hoped to hear.

Clint and I have talked a lot about advent this year, and clint likes to remind me that the promise of advent is also the promise: “and I am coming again.”

And I love the ideas of jesus being disguised among us. He was born into poverty and humility, and to this day, that is where he remains. Jesus is among the poor, the sad, the hurting, the widows, the orphans. this idea haunts me.

A friend told me recently that jesus comes either as the fulfillment of our desire or a rival to our self love. I have so much tension with that.

And for me, it always kind of comes back to the music. The music seems to carry us and sing our faith for us. At least it does for me. It as if, mysteriously, through songs, my doubt is moved toward belief.

Another friend told me this just yesterday morning:

"I have read that the christian life is not moving from ignorance to knowledge but from doubt to faith, over and over and over and over again. we are made for it to be so. as soon as we find any sense of certainty or belief or rest a new doubt creeps in, a new angst, a new question, a contradiction and we go through the cycle all over again.

for me, the music is the balm in the doubt. it holds the note while the doubt is being changed to faith. earth and heaven cannot hold or sustain him. but music does."

So...to all of us who feel alone, who are weary of the silence, who are hopeful for grace and for mercy, and for doubts to be carried into faith: merry christmas.

cheers to a hopeful advent, and the silence we all know so well.

red mountain concert - workplay - tonight

2008-12-22T02:26:00.000-08:00

okay everyone. tonight at workplay. not gonna lie, I'm pretty excited about it. I've spent more time than usual this year creating, thinking about, and listening to christmas music.

as most of you already know, we put out a christmas record this year. and so tonight at workplay, we're going to be doing a christmas-only concert. our friend drew holcomb is coming down from nashville and doing an all-christmas set before us. drew has been on most of our records, and it will be great to see him again.

I'm expecting a really great night of music. and 3 days before christmas, I think the timing is just about perfect. from red mountain, we're going to have an 8-piece band featuring multiple violins and of course, ashley spurling. we got together to rehearse about a week ago and the music came together so effortlessly I forgot we were rehearsing.

I have this friend brad and he says to me "I hate christmas music". and I tell him. "it's okay. I'll like it for you." brad will be playing with us tonight.

maybe we'll see you as well. looking forward to it...

another classic red mountain video

2008-12-17T13:55:00.000-08:00

also be sure to check this super hot interview I just did with birmingham magazine. thanks carla jean.

lots of serious conversation in this one:

video editing by clinton wells.

new video from red mountain

2008-12-16T01:13:00.000-08:00

thank you clint wells:

just hit 4 ten times

2008-12-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

so tonight I had this gig with jon black in nashville, but due to an intense blizzard, we turned around just after crossing the state line and ran home to alabama. 4 alabama boys + snow = tragedy.

on the way back, we stopped at a starbucks (which I love, because I love the man). clint and I are working on some new promotional videos for the new red mountain christmas cd. here's a piece of raw footage that clint will probably be mad at me for posting:

couple shows with jon black

2008-12-10T11:23:00.000-08:00

tonight: workplay, birmingham.

tomorrow night: 3rd and lindsley, nashville.

clint will be doing his normal awesomeness. and irwin is driving down from nashville to join in the fun as well. should be delightful, to say the least.

barrack wants your gun

2008-12-07T23:00:00.000-08:00

recently, I heard someone say "bhusseinO wants all the guns".

I said "wha?"

"yeah btm it's true. once he's prez he's gonna take all the guns away."

"man I had no idea. that is really a shame. I like my guns."

"you have a gun?"

"I have three guns."

"three guns?"

"yes".

"what do you do with them?"

"I shoot them every december 24th. that's about all. and generally, I keep them around to keep people guessing about who BTM really is. same reason I have a six cylinder motorcycle, and a flame thrower."

"you own a flame thrower?"

"no not actually. not at all. but I drew a picture of one once. i'll let you see it sometime."

"I would really like that, btm."

(hug)

more thanksgiving photos

2008-12-01T14:13:00.000-08:00

about once every 2-3 years, my entire family gets together, and to be completely honest, it is a wonderful, beautiful thing. families are not always encouraging and refreshing. and I know that my own family has caused me issues and despair over the years. and yet, as I get older, the more I am learning to just really appreciate and enjoy the people who are around me. it's one thing to talk about community and friends - who I also consider extremely important and valuable - but it's another thing entirely to consider family - the people I come from and the people I will spend the rest of my life inevitably caring for. you don't choose your family. you just love them because they are given to you.

I am fortunate to be apart of a big family. two brothers, two sisters, and 13 children who call me "uncle brian". more photos here.

thankful for my family (all 24 of them)

2008-11-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

(more pictures soon)

spurlings

2008-11-23T22:09:00.000-08:00

besides being my favorite vocalist and a good friend, ashley spurling also has a beautiful family. we've been talking about doing some photos for awhile, finally got around to it last week. more photos here.

baby jack, part II

2008-11-18T22:39:00.000-08:00

baby jack is one year old. I went and took some photos of his family last week, and I was actually there to catch the moment when jack first pulled himself up to a standing position. he was crawling up to his dad, evan, and then just pulled himself right up. it was beautiful.

even more beautiful considering jack's condition, one year ago, when I went to visit him in the NICU.

thankful for good friends, for good pictures, and for stories that I am able to be a small part of. and thankful for babies like jack.

huffstetler photos

2008-11-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

I've been getting a lot of requests to do family photos lately. this was one of my recent favorites. more from this shoot here

red mountain party

2008-11-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

more photos here

thank god for biblical foods

2008-11-06T23:12:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank alert-reader larry, from austin texas, who recently turned me onto my latest food fetish: old testament tortillas. I've basically been looking for these my entire life. Up until now, I've been eating mostly secular tortillas and they have been bringing me down. now that I have found this more christian alternative I can finally eat my burritos in peace, knowing that after I finish dining, I can also biblically beat my children to death.

holiness has never tasted quite so good.

interview with barack obama

2008-11-05T11:39:00.000-08:00

I was very fortunate to get to interview barack obama just this morning. amazing, considering his busy schedule. here is a transcript of our conversation:

BTM: thanks for meeting with me barack. I wondered if I could ask you a few questions.
BHO: no problem. glad I had some free time. I always enjoy talking to you.
BTM: thanks, funny you should say that since last time I saw you I almost got murdered by your security.
BHO: I don't know what you are talking about.
BTM: oh, cool. no worries. so, what I am wondering is, what are you going to do for me now that you are president?
BHO: well, I'm not president yet. george bush is still in office.
BTM: thanks for the political science lesson. please answer my question now.
BHO: well I was thinking I would take all of the money away from everybody and give all of the money to the poor.
BTM: weird. that's EXACTLY what all of my republican friends said you were going to do. amazing how right they are. I should start listening to them.
BHO: yes the conservative right is so wise, I have been saying that all along.
BTM: awesome. so, how are you going to take away all of the money from everybody?
BHO: well first I am going to stab all of the people with a knife, and then I will take their wallets as they are bleeding, and then I will just hand out the cash to whoever seems like they need it.
BTM: this is totally unexpected! everybody is expecting you to raise taxes. they won't even see it coming. genious.
BHO: you misspelled "genius".
BTM: one more point for you. good job. okay next question. what are you going to do about the war in iraq?
BHO: I am going to immediately withdraw and create total chaos and embarrassment for the united states.
BTM: oh, so the embarrassment will be on you, not on bush, who bombed babies and started the war in the first place?
BHO: exactly.
BTM: you are so humble. I love you.
BHO: thank you. I love you too. (at this point we are holding hands)
BTM: okay next question. what are you going to do about the economy?
BHO: as I have always said, I am going to create accountability in washington and wall street by setting up an oversight committee to look into how every person in america spends all of their waking moments, which will include a giant laser beam in the sky.
BTM: actually I don't think you ever said that.
BHO: no I always talk about the giant laser beam in the sky.
BTM: no, actually it is me who always talks about the laser beams (at this point we have stopped holding hands)
BHO: oh. well, these are the details. the point is there will be a giant laser beam and it will shoot people in the brains if they overspend.
BTM: this is genius. another point for you.
BHO: I have so many points.
BTM: yeah. okay. one last question: can I be secretary of state?
BHO: I thought you'd never ask. but no, you can't be secretary of state.
BTM: okay well I'm out of time barack. good luck with all of the planning and whatnot. congrats on the big win last night. let me know if I can ever help you out for maybe a special project or something.
BHO: I will definitely be calling you.

I went to mississippi and took zero photographs

2008-11-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

middle of last week I get a call from chris miner asking me if I want to come to a party in northwest mississippi. it's a one-year anniversary party for chris and his wife, and there are going to be about 40 people there that I will definitely not know. I thought about it for a few hours, then called chris and said "I'm in".

so after the stellar halloween extravaganza at clint and liz's place where I dressed up in disguise and nobody recognized me (that's me with jon black), and their front porch tragically collapsed, I went home got a few hours of rest, and hit the road for clarksdale, mississippi.

it was a good weekend. it was a lot of work, spending a weekend with people I do not know. but chris has interesting, thoughtful friends, and the weekend was full and went by quickly. I was in the most amazing place. this old cotton gin in the middle of the mississippi delta converted into a sort of motel. we slept in the old shotgun houses that lined the property, and I spent the night by the fire, looking up at the millions of stars that I never usually see.

the mississippi delta is an eerie, haunted place. this time of year, the roads are hemmed in by cotton fields in full harvest. it's as if a light snow just hit the entire place. the fields that used to be work for thousands of people are now ravaged by massive machines, loudly and awkwardly shredding their way across the endless rows of white.

I saw all these great images. the empty towns where the people have left. the homes and barns, abandoned and falling into ruin. the giant machines eating their way through the fields. the cypress trees in the swamps. the endless, straight highways and the expected crossroads where two lonely roads collide.

for those of you who don't know who chris miner is, he is an artist who lives in jackson. he's been all over, done all sorts of work, but what he is largely known for in my circles is his music. we sing a lot of his songs at red mountain. I sing a lot of his songs to myself.

it was a good trip. I'm glad to be home. zed missed me.

happy halloween

2008-10-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

so this year for halloween, I'm supposed to go to a costume party. I am very stressed out about this. this is because I don't have any costumes. why can't I just go like me? why do I have to put on a cape (brooke wore a cape last night, by the way). I have been talking about my costume party anxiety for weeks now. other people always have great costumes. they look sexy, hilarious, they stay in character all night, they howl at the moon, they eat babies. it's fabulous. me? I got nothing.

and to make matters worse, brooke is making me go to a cage fight tonight. that's right, a cage fight. what is wrong with my wife?

tomorrow, I'm going to mississippi.

does anybody care less about the presidential election than me?

2008-10-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

I think on november whatever the day is, I'm going to vote for my new dog, zed. he's quiet, sentimental, and very eager to learn.

yes, I said sentimental. zed is very sentimental.

by the way, zed is about 9 weeks old, and he is a pit bull, and he needs a friend ASAP. anybody have any puppies they want to let me know about? I want this guy to be socialized.

italy

2008-10-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

I just got back from italy. Brooke and I were there for two weeks, mostly in the piedmont region (northern italy, near france). it was a nice trip. we ate a lot of food. we visited a lot of really small towns. I communicated with a lot of people who did not speak english. I took a few photographs.

Christmas Record available for pre-order

2008-10-02T07:38:00.000-07:00

the christmas record, which we have been working on for over a year, is finally finished. you can pre-order it now, and your cd will ship out once it arrives (expected oct. 13). there's so much I can say about this project that I kind of don't know where to start. I'll just say this: it's all ashley singing. and we stayed very true to traditional melodies and arrangements. the goal was to create a christmas record that we would actually want to listen to.

go here to listen

go here for ordering information

and mark your calendars: december 22 we're playing a christmas concert at workplay.

footrace

2008-10-01T09:42:00.001-07:00

I have a new favorite activity. a 40-yard dash-duel. this is me and clint, after the gig in nashville, racing in the parking lot. notice irwin with his outspread arms, waiting to determine the winner.

jon black cd release!

2008-09-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

my good friend jon black is starting his cd-release tour TONIGHT! I'll be with him playing in nashville and athens*, and then jon will be rocking out with his band sans BTM for the rest of it. really bummed I'm going to miss the ATL and BHM shows, gonna be two very good nights...

09/30 3rd and Lindsley Nashville, TN
10/02 Caledonia Athens, GA
10/03 The Vinyl Atlanta, GA
10/04 Workplay B'Ham, AL

*hoping to make the athens show

happy birthday T. Scott

2008-09-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

our good friend t.scott turned 40 on thursday. so we met up at liza and jeremy's place, put on 60's attire (made t.scott more comfortable), and partied the night away. here are some pictures.

NEWS FLASH: CLAY AIKEN IS GAY

2008-09-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

I have shocking news for you: clay is gay.

totally took me by surprise.

clay. gay.

never saw it coming.

new book, photography by BTM

2008-09-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

I feel really fortunate to get to work as a photographer. and I feel even more fortunate that I've gotten to be apart of some really inspiring, challenging projects. a few months ago, I traveled to atlanta and over the course of a few weeks took a series of photographs for an organization called mission year. this organization is headed up by a guy named leroy barber, who has spent his life working in low income neighborhoods. Leroy just finished a book called "new neighbor" and I was hired to take the photographs that ended up being a large portion of the book. the goal was to try and tell the story, to try and capture the feeling of the place.

I didn't know what to expect, and as usual, I felt like I got really lucky with my images. what surprised me most was how much of a pleasure it was to get to know Leroy. his humility and openness revealed a guy I would follow just about anywhere. and I found his insights into urban issues to be refreshing and not overbearing. it was a joy to spend the time with him.

anyway, the book just came out. check it out here, and consider purchasing a copy to support leroy's work. it's only $15. the design ended up being really great, and they used a ton of my photos. I really feel honored to be apart of this.

thanks jeff and leroy for thinking of me...look forward to working with you guys again in the future.

one last thing: I've been working on some slideshows for photographs, so I decided to make one for some of the shots for this project. for some reason it's been acting weird in blogger so if it doesn't pull up click here.

dingo

2008-09-19T04:58:00.000-07:00

I got dingo when I was 20 years old. I was about halfway through college, my last dog died about a year before, and brooke broke up with me. so I went to the pound with my friend matt churnock to get my dog (I selected her because when I walked the other dogs and let them off their leash they would run around as if I didn't matter, but when I let her off her leash she jumped up next to me and started licking my face. I figured she was a good dog). on the way home I named her. she was curled up in the back seat of my car, not making a sound, and I said to matt, "I'm going to name her dingo, she looks like a dingo." and matt said "dingo shall be the dog's name."

as it turns out, she actually looks nothing like a dingo.

9 years later, at the age of 11, she got sick. not sure exactly what it was, but she was severely anemic, not eating or drinking, not able to stand up and walk around. it was heart-breaking to see. my friend chris is a fantastic vet and he did everything he could for her, and yesterday I told him "it's okay chris, I think she's dying." and so that was the end. I felt bad for putting chris in the middle of it. he loved dingo too.

some of my favorite stories about dingo include how incredibly violent she could be. there used to be these people in college, these fraternity boys with their bandanna-wearing, frisbee-catching dogs, and they would sometimes come over to visit and let their dog out of the car, and dingo would immediately attack the dog and try to kill it. I one time saw dingo, who was only 40 lbs, take on two dogs both twice her size. by the end of it, all three were pretty bloodied up, and dingo was definitely getting hurt, but the only reason she backed down was because I made her. she always listened to me.

brooke and I used to live in southside, across the street from a drug dealer, next door to a crazy guy who used to try and start fights with me, and we always felt safe because of dingo. whenever we needed some security we'd just walk outside with dingo on the leash. nobody would even think of coming close to us. she wasn't huge, but she had a presence that was massive. you just knew she would kill you if you tried to mess with us.

eventually we learned that dingo really couldn't be let out free, which was fine because she liked being inside with us anyway (she remained the sweetest, calmest, most loyal and comforting dog you can imagine within our home). one time though, she escaped and some neighbors called the cops because they were scared. two police officers knocked on my door and asked if I was the owner of a "small brown dog" and I said "yes, where is she?" and they said they didn't know, neighbors had called...and I said "oh no, you need to get back in your cars" they looked at me like I was joking, and moments later dingo came tearing around the side of the house, going straight after the cops. she pinned them both up against the side of my house before i could get to her. I stepped in as fast as I could and picked her up and while she was in my arms she was still growling and barking at the cops. I carried her inside, apologizing to the police and I heard one of them say "damn, I've never seen a meaner dog..."

so yeah, dingo had this wildly aggressive and protective side that sort of made her famous.

but inside our home, she was perfect. she knew when we were sad and needed to be comforted. she would always lay right by me when I played piano. every time. I would start playing and then hear her feet pattering across the floor and she would just lay there right next to me. whenever we were sick, she would lay there with us. when there was a storm, she would get as close to us as she could, usually burying herself under us, shaking. she was apart of every record I made, because she would never leave my side. I've got all these pictures of working in the studio over the years, and dingo is there in all of them, laying on the floor, watching, sleeping, listening.

everybody always talked about how calm she was, how pleasant she was to be around. but more than anything else, she was apart of our home and her quiet, constant presence made our lives fuller and more complete. it's amazing the connection people can have with animals, especially dogs. and it's even more amazing how unconditionally a dog loves it's people.

yesterday some of the best friends I've got came over and helped me bury her. frank, aaron, kyle, steve. frank picked up her body from the vet for me, and it was surprising. I spent most of the afternoon in total sadness, intermittently crying when I would think of my great, old dog. but when I saw frank pull up I just wasn't sad anymore. and then the other guys showed up and we got to work burying dingo. and then the sadness was gone. I can't explain that, but I do believe that there is something about burying your dead.

sad to lose the best dog I've ever had, but thankful for my friends and my family, and especially for people who keep teaching me what it means to carry things for others.

rescue

2008-09-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

my sister wrote this great post about being rescued, and it has me thinking, and remembering.

I remember the time this kid pulled off katie's wig and laughed at her, and I beat him christmas story style (sitting on his chest and punching his face with both hands until a teacher pulled me off).

I remember a time when I was talking to my family about some kids who were picking on me, and the next day after school, as some kid started shoving me to the ground, I got this huge smile as I saw my two older brothers walk towards us. they asked what I was smiling about and I just pointed and said "those are my brothers". danny told me to go home, and I did, leaving the bullies with my brothers, and I was never picked on ever again.

I remember a time when a man in a store was harassing brooke, and when he reached over and touched her I told him to get his hand off her. I could feel the blood in my face and I knew I was ready to hit him, and he knew it too. he apologized and walked away.

I remember a little over ten years ago, when my friend joe suddenly passed away, how I wept harder than I ever knew possible, and how a good friend held me at the side of his grave and maybe for the first time showed me what it meant to help carry a piece of someone's grief.

I remember so many times and so many stories I've lived through with my friends, where hope has seemed so far away, and where the options for rescue seem so vague and unreachable. thinking of it now, I can see the eyes of so many people I have failed.

my dog is dying, I think. she's old and I'm afraid that the end could be near. and tonight, as brooke held her still, eerily unmoving body in her arms and stroked her fur and wiped away her tears, I held out my typical optimism that she'll be fine, that ultimately things are working out for good.

but if I'm honest, I'll admit that in the dark corners of my soul, the places I see when I am quiet and alone, and most clearly when I am sitting alone with my music, that I am afraid that things are not working out for good, that things are unraveling at a fast pace, that I am out of control, that people and things are dying, and that I need to be rescued. that I am incapable of saving or rescuing anybody.

and that scares me. the rescuers are all so incapable.

I've been writing a lot of music lately. it always goes that way. I finish a record and immediately go back to writing. I wrote one of the best songs of my life. it was about hope and about loss and about mercy. and then I lost it (yesterday). I had it scribbled on a piece of paper and now its gone, accidentally thrown away. and it's fitting, because the songs I write are really only for me, I hardly ever share them with anybody, and this one, this song about hope and about rescue, I couldn't even keep it for me.

some partially related thoughts from clint.

oxford, mississippi

2008-09-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

last week, clint and I traveled to oxford to play a last-minute show with jon black, opening for drew holcomb. it was a fun night. and I'm glad I used the downtime to grab a few shots of the very haunted, very eerie town of oxford, mississippi. I have been so busy working on the new record from red mountain that I haven't been doing much with photography in several weeks. so, these were pretty fun for me...

I have a crush on sarah palin

2008-09-01T22:05:00.000-07:00

sarah palin is awesome. for lots of reasons:

1. she kills animals with her bare hands, while at the same time not freezing to death.

2. she married an eskimo, who has laser vision. and

3. she is hot. seriously she is like really hot.

in fact, she's so hot, that I now make brooke dress like her. one point brian t. murphy. zero points world.

The thing about razor blade sandwiches is, they taste a lot like you. (as promised)

2008-08-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

what i meant to say was, I like them very much.

after this post I will go back to writing about razor blade sandwiches

2008-08-27T06:50:00.000-07:00

but seriously - one more plug about the concert TONIGHT at workplay:

the spots are playing at workplay, opening for our friend drew holcomb. this is the first time the spots have ever played workplay, and we are happy to be there supporting drew for his cd release concert. drew has been a friend of red mountain for several years now, and has participated on our last three records. drew even came down to help us when we had our "help my unbeleif" cd release concert at workplay a couple years ago...all you red mountain people need to make this your community group activity for the week (I'm serious) - it's going to be a great show, and this is a great way to support a musician who has contributed so much to the music of our church. and if nothing else, you need to come hear the way drew's voice blends with his wife ellie. it's surreal.

and of course, the spots, at workplay. it's going to be sick.

look forward to being apart of some great music, and seeing everybody out! come say hey!

music you seriously do not want to miss

2008-08-19T20:04:00.000-07:00

friday night, clint and I are playing with our friend jon black, and opening for mark kozelek at the sloss stokin' the fire event. I really cannot stress how happy I am to be playing with such good friends, and on top of that opening for mark kozelek - I've never met the guy but his music has been seriously carrying me for about three years now. jon goes on at 6:30. mark kozelek immediately after. jon black is of course a red mountain guy, sings on our last record, and regularly helps out when he is in town. if you can make it out friday night, I promise you will not be disappointed.

saturday night, spots play the speakeasy. I think this is only our 2nd show at the speakeasy this year, and we don't have any more on the books. always a good time down at the speakeasy. cheap $5 cover, great drinks, and a great place to hang out and spend a saturday night.

a week from today, wednesday august 27, the spots are playing at workplay, opening for our friend drew holcomb. this is the first time the spots have ever played workplay, and we are happy to be there supporting drew for his cd release concert. drew has been a friend of red mountain for several years now, and has participated on our last three records. drew even came down to help us when we had our "help my unbeleif" cd release concert at workplay a couple years ago...all you red mountain people need to make this your community group activity for the week (I'm serious) - it's going to be a great show, and this is a great way to support a musician who has contributed so much to the music of our church. and if nothing else, you need to come hear the way drew's voice blends with his wife ellie. it's surreal.

look forward to being apart of some great music, and seeing everybody out! come say hey!

James Chapin

2008-08-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

when red mountain was just beginning as a church, when we were nothing but a few families and friends, all wondering what the new church was going to look like, james was with us.

he was impossible to miss. he drove a motorized wheelchair, an orange flag firmly attached to the end. his head was covered in thin grey hair, and he had a massive dent in his skull, and a glass eye that would sometimes not be in. he spoke often and obtrusively, and loudly. and nobody could forget what came to be known as "the rising of james". he would inevitably, at some point during the service, rise out of his wheelchair, stand up and look around as if to say "I've been healed" and then he would sit back down and usually drive away. he was the most distracting man I've ever known. and those who would visit would often think that a man was being healed here in our church service, just as we all did during the first rising.

I got to know james as well as he would let me. he was apart of a group of friends that met every week over at charles and andrea's apartment. and then again, he was apart of another group of friends that met at john and molly's house. we would all take turns going to pick him up and bring him to join us. I remember how frustrating james was. I remember how he would always interrupt. I remember how the conversation was always about him. I remember how much we would talk about him behind his back, and how happy we were on the weeks when he wasn't with us. being friends with james was like being friends with sickness.

and I remember also, the things that kept me in friendship with james for several years. the moments in the car when he was still, when he would turn and ask me a real question. and when I would respond and he would sit and be still for a moment, listening. and the times when he would tell me about his life before the accident. most of it was made up. apparently he couldn't remember anything so he just made up his life. he had the best life ever. he drove a fleet of ferraris and lamborghinis and he dated famous, beautiful women, and he did every drug imaginable and he was a great athlete and of course, an excellent musician, though he was always careful to add that he was not as good a musician as me. and actually, remembering now, I remember how clearly he would communicate that to me. he would grab my hand and tell me how much he loved to hear me play the piano. and it meant more coming from james than just about anybody. thinking about that now makes me cry.

and his stories, though incredible, ultimately were sad, because after the stories was a man you could never know. james was a man who always looked like he was waiting to die.

james health deteriorated, and we helped him move from a bad apartment to a worse one, and then ultimately to a nursing home where I never went to visit him.

I used to think of visiting. brooke and I would talk about it. but we never went.

and then this week, I found out in an email newsletter, small print at the very bottom, that james had died. it was right between the announcement about a book club and someone trying to sell their house in crestwood.

James is dead. His funeral is tomorrow.

And I can't help but think that red mountain's failures (which are many) are very summed up in the idea that there are so fewer james chapin's among us than there used to be.

I haven't recorded solo piano in a long time, but tonight the mics were already set up in the house from a recording session I've been working on this week, and so I decided to turn them on while I was playing. this is some of the music that was on my mind as I thought about james. its not as good as I want it to be. it never is.

if for some reason the music doesn't play, click here.

wall street photos

2008-08-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

my brother asked me to take some pictures of wall street while I was in new york. this is because my brother is like a real professional person with an office and a fax machine and everything. and he wanted some sweet NYSE action to spruce up the place. I did what I could. I only had about 30 minutes to get these shots.

and wall street is a major tourist attraction, so it was fun to look like a complete psycho tourist with my D300 and multiple lens changes.

usually I just play that game in my hometown.

laura and josh

2008-08-10T23:47:00.000-07:00

so I realize this is kind of becoming a photo blog. but the thing is, I've been doing a lot of photography work lately. here are some wedding photos I just finished editing. shot this one with t.scott down in fairhope last weekend.

red mountain music video: BTM responds

2008-08-07T07:38:00.001-07:00

weary of criticism from clint, BTM lashes out.

music in august that is going to be awesome

2008-08-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

mark your calendars:

august 22: me and clint are playing with jon black at sloss, opening for mark kozelek. that's right. MARK KOZELEK. I've been freaking out about this gig for about a month now.
august 23: spots play speakeasy
august 27: spots at workplay, opening for drew holcomb's cd release concert.
august 29: billy bob thornton playing at zydeco with his blues band.

(drew and jon are both good friends of red mountain. they play on our records, are good people and good songwriters - really looking forward to these gigs)

feel free to comment and tell me what I'm leaving out.

also this month we are hard at work on our new christmas record. please enjoy this riveting making-of video.

the hildebrands

2008-08-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

last week while I was in new york, I spent some time with my friends jeannie and chris, and their son owen. they live in williamsburg, so after about 90 minutes of getting lost in brooklyn, I finally ended up at their place and we got lunch, walked around and took some photos. I got some really cool shots of old industrial willamsburg that I have posted on my flickr, but here I'll just share some of the shots of their family. it's always great to visit with old friends...

last night in new york

2008-08-01T00:53:00.000-07:00

it's been a great week in new york. I came here to learn about / spend a week thinking about / working on photography, and as far as that goes, I got to sit and absorb some of the best ideas and artistic philosophies I could have ever imagined. I feel really encouraged about what I'm doing and where I'm heading. I've got a lot of photography work coming up, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what I can do. hopefully I'll keep moving forward.

got to meet up with a lot of people this week. I met with steve hardy and spent several hours with him on wednesday. steve is a brilliant mix engineer who works with steve lillywhite (that's right, steve lillywhite). I really like steve, and even though my friendship with him is only beginning, I appreciate his work and I respect his opinions and I look forward to making music with him very soon.

I also enjoyed getting to know the people in my photography classes. there were people there from literally all over the world, but the two people I was most excited to meet were caleb chancey and bryan johnson. both these guys are from birmingham, (bryan is the reason I'm in new york this week) and both of them are talented photographers who I have a ton of respect for. it was a pleasure to ride the train out to greenwhich village tonight and sit out on the street and talk for a long time.

and of course, it's always a pleasure to reconnect with old friends. manu and cammie sancheti (you may remember manu as my friend of the month back in april 2006) have been letting me crash in their apartment this week, and I've barely gotten to see them at all. which is a shame because I really like these sanchetis. we did get a couple nights where they stayed up way too late talking to me, and I was thankful for that.

and I got to connect with old friends throughout the week: shane and kory, amanda, and jeannie and chris, as well as their boy owen. I took some really cool photos of them while we walked through brooklyn this morning and I might post those later on.

I ended up not taking many photos while I was here. this was partly because I was so busy just trekking all through the city to see all the different people and make it to my classes. and it was also because new york is kind of a hard place for me to photograph because there are so many people in it. and I feel like it's all already been done.

but here's a few I got of times square. nothing too special, but I like them.

red mountain music video campaign, part 3

2008-07-30T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm still in new york. here's another video, again edited by clint wells. this one featuring shane. officially the funniest person I know.

red mountain music video campaign, part 2

2008-07-28T22:31:00.001-07:00

I'm in new york this week, clint has been working on these videos. enjoy:

red mountain music video campaign

2008-07-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

reason number 412 why I love clint wells:

somebody needs to tell the kids that when they grow up they will do drugs

2008-07-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

when I was a kid all I ever heard was "don't do drugs". what nobody ever told me was that everybody actually did drugs when they got older.

It’s true. everybody does drugs.

and I know right now you are thinking, “BTM not true. lots of people don’t do drugs. me for example, no drugs.”

well you are a liar and you not only probably sniff drugs right into your noseholes, you also probably deal drugs at your neighborhood swimming pool.

like, a lot of drugs.

so I've decided, somebody should start telling the kids this.

I have a friend who works for the government and from time to time goes to schools to talk to children about good things like books and food pyramids and safe sex and how good america is. I asked him if while he was at it, if he'd also tell the kids that everybody does drugs.

“no brian I will not tell the kids that everybody does drugs.”

“I’m not asking you to tell them to do drugs. You can keep telling the kids 'don’t do drugs' like I use to read on the inside of my candy boxes – but maybe just add an addendum to what you say where you mention that when they get older they will probably use drugs just like everybody else does.”

“brian, everybody does not do drugs.”

“yes they do.”

2008-07-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

I knew it was true.

the hope that somehow gets passed around

2008-07-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

"and yet the comfort somehow gets passed around: a few words that are never forgotten, a note in the mail, a look, a touch, a pat, a hug, a kind of waiting with, a kind of standing by, to the end. Once in a while we hear it sung out in a hymn, when every throat seems suddenly widened with love and common language."

-Wendell Berry, from the novel: Hannah Coulter

Those who know me well know that as much as I love making music, and as much as I love producing records and playing in bands – that I actually am very uncomfortable playing when asked, especially in intimate social settings. I clam up. My heart rate spikes, I feel the blood running to my face, and on the rare occasion when I do actually play for people, I never play very well. it’s like my hands are in chains. My thoughts are racing. I’m not free. I’m just playing because I was asked to play. It is something about myself that I really do not understand, and the older I get, the worse it gets.

Those who know me well also, even though they know how uncomfortable it makes me, from time to time ask me to play for them. and in the past weeks, some friends have gathered at my house on a couple of occasions for the odd activity of singing songs together. It makes for an awkward, delightful, eerie evening. One where people suggest songs and we somehow get through them, realizing that something way bigger than any of us is taking place.

Last night was one of those nights. Our friend Cheryl, who recently lost her husband Dewayne, was the guest of honor, the one we all were gathered around. Nobody said it. it didn’t need to be said. But it was true. And so we had a meal together, and we had wine, and we talked for a long time, and then we went to the piano and my face was red and sweaty and my hands were locked and I told everybody how awkward the music was, but that it was all I could do, and we sang songs and we wept and we sang some more.

at one point brooke looked at me and she said, "Brian, play..." and I sort of looked around the room at the faces of those who were with me and said, "I can't."

and then we sang some more.

the night I met coulter

2008-07-20T11:26:00.001-07:00

friday night, cal came to visit with his family. we looked at my neighbor's garden and ate dinner together and the evening ended with the music of sun kil moon, and playing with the children on the floor. and as much as I really did not intend to take any pictures, I couldn't resist when I saw what kind of light was hitting the children's faces. and I met coulter. he's almost a year old and I've been around him since he was born, but his personality is just coming out, and he's a beautiful boy.

and the video at the bottom, it's of bain. I think we did that for about 20 minutes.

oh, and the last five photos were taken by heather morris. heather ends up taking a lot of photos that make it to this blog, actually.

the shulls

2008-07-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

"you really just have no idea how much you are going to love your kids"

that's what jared said to me as he watched his kids play, a huge smile stretched across his face, and as he bent down and picked up his sons and kissed them.

jared's been a good friend for a long time. he's a fantastic musician, and an emmy award winning producer. his wife, mohana, is a true chilean princess, and she always makes me smile, and to hear her talk is to listen to a woman sing. it was a pleasure to visit and take a few pictures.

brett = really good rollerblader

2008-07-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

a lot of people don't really rollerblade anymore. this is because rollerblades cause cancer (more on that later). but not brett. brett loves to rollerblade almost as much as he loves to train his dogs to undress my wife (more on that later as well), and for as long as I have known him, he has been rollerblading.

BTM, that's ridiculous. roller blades don't cause cancer. that's what you're thinking right now. I know it. it's okay. you can say it.

one time brett was rollerblading through a park and he hit a tree. and you know what happened? he bled everywhere. that's right. even his eyeballs were bleeding. when we finally got to him it looked like a tree had just eaten his face and legs, and we were pulling bark out of his earholes and everything. it was crazy. I actually licked some sap out of his armpits. I know. gross. I thought so too. I don't even really like sap.

rollerblades have 4 wheels, and they strap onto your feet, and they allow you to easily glide over pavement while simultaneously announcing to the world that you hate yourself and that when you go home you will probably drink a big glass of gasoline.

rollerblades also are kind of like shoes, with wheels, except instead of like regular shoes, which allow you to walk and kick and run and dance like a regular human being, roller blades hurt your feet and encourage you to pretend that you are awesome, like mel gibson, who is actually not very awesome at all anymore.

rollerblades are sometimes worn with knee pads, and elbow pads, and wrist pads, and a bicycle helmet. and all combined this uniform suggests to the world that you are fully prepared and actually requesting to have your ass kicked, by 6 year olds, as soon as possible. I saw this happen once. it was awesome. the 6 year olds actually threw the bleeding rollerblader into a raging river and watched, laughing and clapping, as children often do, as the heavy rollerblades dropped the tortured rollerblader to his death at the bottom of the water.

one time someone threw a rollerblade at my face and knocked out one of my teeth. I caught my tooth in my hand, threw it back and killed the guy. true story.

another time it rained rollerblades. it was like hail, except it was rollerblades, falling from the sky. at first everybody was like "oh my god rollerblades are raining from the sky this is SO crazy." but then everybody got real excited about it and was totally like "FREE ROLLERBLADES!"

we were all excited until we remembered how much rollerblades suck and then we totally hated the sky again. I shook my fist and clenched my teeth and then I stabbed a rollerblader.

if I had a pair of really good rollerblades, I would set them on fire. and then I would set that fire on fire. think about THAT.

sometimes rollerblades come with extra wheels. or maybe they are replacement wheels. but the thing about those wheels is, nobody uses them for rollerblading. they use them for food. because that's how miserable everybody is after they buy rollerblades.

one time I saw a rollerblader who was so depressed that he actually ate his feet off. it took him a long time, and I got bored watching.

people say rollerblading is like ice skating. but that is a lie. ice skating is way better. one time when I was in college I totally went ice skating and it was one of the best days of my entire life. another time in college I went rollerblading and I got beat up by the swim team. no joke.

the only thing worse than rollerblading is wearing a fanny pack. and the only thing worse than that is wearing a fanny pack while roller blading, which is kind of like dropping your head inside a toilet and then tasting the plumbing with your tongue. I know. gross. that's one of the reasons I never wear a fanny pack. or rollerblade.

if I was a ninja, I would kill all the rollerbladers with swift kicks.

people say rollerblading is good exercise. well, I say that good exercise is running 7 marathons at once, NOT rollerblading.

people also say that you shouldn't drink and drive. people say all sorts of things.

now I know what you're thinking. what's this about brett training his dog to undress your wife? well, I'm not going to talk about that right now. but it's true.

atlanta photo shoot, part II

2008-07-11T13:48:00.001-07:00

I was back in atlanta this week. shooting a lot of pictures for an upcoming book, which should be out in two months. the goal was to try and capture the feeling of some of the poorer neighborhoods just outside of the city. here is a sample of the photos:

conversation with brooke

2008-07-10T16:08:00.000-07:00

BTM: I don't believe the music I make.
Brooke: you keep saying that.
BTM: do you think it's not true?
Brooke: if it's true, why do you play songs you don't believe in every night of your life?

end conversation

wild sweet orange

2008-07-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

one of the many reasons to love music, and to love making music in birmingham.

birmingham's own wild sweet orange, on letterman just a few days ago.

wish them all the best, glad these guys are my friends...

july 4

2008-07-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

today I spent time with good friends. I remembered once again how thankful I am for children.

these pictures were all taken with my small point and shoot camera. last two photos taken by heather morris.

BTM on the news

2008-07-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

video link