Friday, July 25, 2008

somebody needs to tell the kids that when they grow up they will do drugs

when I was a kid all I ever heard was "don't do drugs". what nobody ever told me was that everybody actually did drugs when they got older.

It’s true. everybody does drugs.

and I know right now you are thinking, “BTM not true. lots of people don’t do drugs. me for example, no drugs.”

well you are a liar and you not only probably sniff drugs right into your noseholes, you also probably deal drugs at your neighborhood swimming pool.

like, a lot of drugs.

so I've decided, somebody should start telling the kids this.

I have a friend who works for the government and from time to time goes to schools to talk to children about good things like books and food pyramids and safe sex and how good america is. I asked him if while he was at it, if he'd also tell the kids that everybody does drugs.

“no brian I will not tell the kids that everybody does drugs.”

“I’m not asking you to tell them to do drugs. You can keep telling the kids 'don’t do drugs' like I use to read on the inside of my candy boxes – but maybe just add an addendum to what you say where you mention that when they get older they will probably use drugs just like everybody else does.”

“brian, everybody does not do drugs.”

“yes they do.”

2 comments:

crashmattb said...

My parents are the worse druggies of all thanks to their freehanded, script-writing doctors. Go figure! got an ache or pain? Take this. Indegestion? Take this. Have a foot fungus thats out of control? Pop this pill. As for me, tylenol is my most potent drug of choice these days, and I only touch that stuff if just have to. No comment on past drug use...

Jeff Irwin said...

my kids love drugs.. pharmacies are the new candy stores.. well, they were the old ones, too.. but placebos only get you high if you're already high.. so on and so forth