Thursday, July 10, 2008

conversation with brooke

BTM: I don't believe the music I make.
Brooke: you keep saying that.
BTM: do you think it's not true?
Brooke: if it's true, why do you play songs you don't believe in every night of your life?

end conversation

8 comments:

Natalie_S said...

This may end up being a total tangent, but...Assuming you're talking about RMC music, are you maybe playing these songs because you want them to be true? It just seems to me that church music (good church music that is) mainly falls in two categories -that which we gladly affirm and that which we want to affirm but don't have the words/guts/faith to affirm on our own, but we sing anyway because it's true. I suppose it's sort of borrowing on the future? We want to believe something, and we trust that someday God will give us grace to gladly and wholeheartedly believe it. Until then we sing these songs and pray God to let the words take root in our hearts.

Matthew Smith said...

Despite their small brains, women often have incredible insight.

Clint Wells said...

I think maybe sometimes we sing songs to ourselves precisely because we don't believe in them.

not that your post was necessarily about the "christian" music you make, but i love the line from that mo leveret song where he says, "the love of god is a hymn of hope."

you dont have to believe in something to sing it. sometimes for me i have to sing a song of hope over and over just to begin believing.

doubt never lets up. but neither does hope.

Andrew and/or Amy said...

so why do you make the music?

lunch = good

Susannah said...

Brian, I'm with Clint. Doubt is one of those things that never does let up. You and I know, I've got a lot less years under my belt than you, and still I have millions of moments of doubt behind me, and I have millions of moments of doubt in front of me. But Brian, there is still this hope in me, that doesn't stop, hope that I am not chasing after the wind to tie it down.

(There's a line of a song that I keep thinking about, it says "I don't see no water, but I'm about to drown, I don't see no fire, but I'm burning down." Whether that has relevance or not, I don't know, but I feel that way sometimes.)

Brian T. Murphy said...

natalie - yes - talking about rmc music. and yes I think you are hitting the nail on the head.

msmith - yeah. I think men are idiots.

clint - what you said here is directly along the lines of an email I got a few days ago from a very wise woman who occasionally emails me and sends me hymn text (usually for children). I wish I could copy and paste her words here but I can't because my email is down and has been for a few days. but she said what you are saying.

andrew - that is the question, I think. thanks for lunch, indeed. lunch with old friends is always a pleasure.

susannah - I'm glad you comment here, and I'm glad you are exactly the age that you are. I think you and I have very similar doubts and fears. and the water and the fire - it's the music that reminds us of their presence. at least it seems that way to me...

Robert said...

Could it be that a significant part of you wants the truth to be something that strictly makes you feel good?

crashmattb said...

I know I'm new to your blog, but I feel a bit like asking the same question as Brooke: why do you keep saying that you don't believe in the music you play? Is it fear? Is it disbelief altogether in the Christian teachings? Is is just because of the hypocrisy that surrounds us in regards to those playing up to a holier than thou status only to find out they live more sinful lives that most? Or, do you already know the answer, but want to keep emphasizing the point to anyone who will listen? I really wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts on why this thought remains prevalent in your life. I know things of this magnitude never really have a clear cut answer, but then again it just might.